Ivan Reitman produced this dazzling, sophomoric, and fun animated adaptation of the popular magazine. Like most anthology movies, some segments are better than others. However, there isn’t a bad story in the bunch. Of course, the copious amounts of animated T & A doesn’t hurt either.
The wraparound segments, entitled “Soft Landing” (***) are probably the weakest part, but they’re still pretty good. An astronaut brings a glowing orb home as a gift for his daughter. After vaporizing dear old dad, the orb tells the girl about its previous incarnations.
“Harry Canyon” (***) is the first official story. The eponymous cab driver ekes out a living in futuristic New York City. His world is turned upside down when he meets a woman whose father discovered the orb. She’s on the run from sinister agents who want the orb and Harry tries to help her out of a jam.
This segment has a fun, futuristic film noir feel. (Harry’s hardboiled narration would be at home in a ‘40s detective movie.) The voice acting by Richard Romanus is good and the New York cityscape looks cool, but the ending kind of fizzles out.
The next sequence is “Den” (****). A nerdy boy gets whisked away to another planet by the orb. The kid transforms into a bald barbarian and sets out to rescue (and bed) a hot, perpetually naked woman.
This one is the best of the bunch. It has a perfect measure of self-parody while still giving fans what they want to see, namely cool monsters, gore, and naked chicks. John Candy’s voice work is terrific in this and his running commentary on the action is often hilarious.
“Captain Sternn” (***) follows. It’s a courtroom drama about a slimy space captain on trial for numerous offenses. He thinks a key witness (who is possessed by the orb) will help him out of his jam, and he’s right… to a point.
This one isn’t quite as strong as the other segments. It’s kind of slight and lightweight. On the plus side, the ending is a lot of fun, and John Vernon is great as the voice of the grouchy prosecutor.
Then, it’s horror-tinged “B-17” (****). An American bomber takes on enemy fire during a mission. When one of the pilots goes to assess the damage, he is horrified to learn that a green glowing light has turned his fallen comrades into skeletal zombies.
This segment, written by Alien’s Dan O’Bannon, is a wonderful mood piece. It’s scary and atmospheric and would fit right at home in an episode of Tales from the Crypt. It’s also just different enough from the other stories to feel like a breath of fresh air.
“So Beautiful and So Dangerous” (***) is next. A Pentagon secretary is abducted by aliens flying around in a smiley face spaceship. A horny robot quickly turns her on to the joy of automaton lovemaking, but will their relationship be able to stand the test of time?
This story is lightweight, but it gets plenty of big laughs. That’s largely due to John Candy’s voice acting as the Casanova droid. Harold Ramis and Eugene Levy are pretty funny as the drug-addled aliens, but their scenes almost feel like they came out of another sequence entirely.
The final story is “Taarna” (***). A green goo turns a guy into an evil dictator, and he sets about to take over the planet. The people’s last hope is a brave (and half naked) warrior woman who flies around in a pterodactyl.
Trippy visuals and sexy women highlight this tale. It more or less gives you everything you want from something like this. The only downside is it runs on a bit too long.
Overall, Heavy Metal is a lot of fun. It gleefully caters to adolescent fantasies and features copious amounts of gratuitous violence and T & A. Although the soundtrack is quite good, there’s only one song in there that I’d consider “Heavy Metal”. (Journey’s “Open Arms” is about the farthest thing you can get to heavy metal.) Still, that’s a minor nitpick as the movie more or less… uh… rocks.
Heavy Metal 2000 followed nineteen years later.
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