THE 15:17 TO PARIS (2018) **

In 2015, three American servicemen traveling through Europe stopped a terror attack aboard a train.  That’s the kind of story Hollywood loves to make a movie about.  Only a guy like Clint Eastwood would cast the real-life heroes as themselves. 

This sort of thing has a precedent, but you have to go back to the ‘50s when war hero Audie Murphy played himself in To Hell and Back.  (Something tells me these guys won’t have the same kind of career as Murphy had.)  The cheeseball sentiment that permeates the film feels like it came out of the ‘50s too.  All of this is well-intentioned to be sure, but it’s never quite successful. 

The first act flashbacks of the real-life heroes growing up play like a bad After School Special.  These scenes are oddly paced and feel more like filler than anything.  (The scenes with them in gym class where they wear camouflage shirts while everyone else wears a uniform so you can pick them out of the group are unintentionally funny.)  The second act is somewhat better, but it too often feels like an extended travelogue of Europe.  As noble and brave as these guys are, I don’t really need to see their vacation videos (and dramatized ones at that).

The act of heroism doesn’t occur till the very end and even then, it’s over pretty quickly.  I will say it is legitimately suspenseful, even if you know the outcome.  (What’s impressive is that the three friends spend more time tending to the wounded till help arrives than they do taking down the gunman.)  Until those closing moments, it’s kind of a slog. 

As far as the three stars go, I think I can give them a pass.  They equip themselves as well as can be expected, especially for nonprofessional actors.  While I’m sure “real” actors could’ve done it “better”, it’s easy to see why Eastwood thought they were the right men for the job.  However, the fact that we have recognizable stars like Judy Greer and Jenna Fischer playing two of their moms kind of throws off the “reality” Eastwood is trying to capture.  The rest of the supporting cast is mostly made up of actors known for their comic chops, which is kind of odd.  We have Thomas Lennon as the kids’ principal, Tony Hale as their gym teacher, and Jaleel White as their teacher.  I never thought I’d live to see the day when Dirty Harry directed Urkel in a movie, but here we are.