Story of a Cloistered Nun begins with a scene where two babies are married to unite their family’s interests. I’ve heard of relatives playing matchmaker before, but this is ridiculous.
One of the babies grows up to be the headstrong Carmela (Eleonora Giorgi), who rejects being betrothed without her consent. Her family then has no recourse but to send her off to a nunnery. As soon as she walks in the door, the nuns are eagerly ripping her clothes off and pawing at her. Despite this, Carmela eventually gets used to her surroundings. Meanwhile, the horny Sister Elizabeth (Catherine Spaak) has special privileges like the ability to sneak men into the convent for a little hanky-panky and hold late night costume parties. Elizabeth takes a shine to the new nun, but when Carmela rebuffs her advances, Sister Elizabeth sets out for revenge.
Story of a Cloistered Nun has its moments, but it kind of stops and sputters in between the good stuff. There’s a decent whipping, some female cross dressing, and a great scene where a nun sasses Mother Superior (Suzy Kendall from The Bird with the Crystal Plumage) and she punishes her by making the sister clean the floor with her tongue. Some viewers (okay, maybe just me) would’ve probably been happier if the sleaze quotient had been cranked up a notch. I mean there’s some blasphemous stuff here (like a nun having a baby), but nothing you have to say three Hail Marys for after the movie’s over.
Giorgi has several nude scenes, which helps, but Kendall is kind of wasted. Likewise, Spaak is kind of fun, although she never quite gets the opportunity to play up her character’s sinning ways to the hilt. Then again, this might be the only Nunsploitation movie I’ve seen that rips off Spartacus, so it has that going for it.
AKA: Diary of a Cloistered Nun. AKA: The Diary of a Closeted Nun. AKA: Unholy Convent. AKA: Love Story of a Nun.
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