AVENGEMENT (2019) **

Hardened criminal Cain (Scott Adkins) is granted temporary leave from prison to visit his dying mother.  When the guards lead him into the hospital, he learns of her passing.  Enraged, Cain subdues the guards, escapes, and sets out on a rampage of revenge.

Avengement is yet another collaboration between Scott Adkins and director Jesse V. Johnson.  It’s not one of their best efforts, mostly because of the lackadaisical pace and awkward flashback-fueled structure.  (The framework involves Adkins holding people hostage in a pub while waiting for the man who betrayed him to show up.  In the meantime, he relates flashbacks to show how he got there.)  Another debit:  Most of the actors speak in thick, impenetrable British accents, which makes many of the dialogue-heavy scenes hard to follow.  (You’ll probably want to put the subtitles on for this one.)  

There are a couple of OK fights sprinkled about, but they’re nothing on the level of Adkins’ best stuff.  We do get a nasty prison brawl where he winds up the victim of a curb stomping and receives a garish set of metal teeth for his troubles.  The problem is most of the fights occur during montages, so it’s hard to appreciate them when they’ve been edited together in bunches.  

Adkins attacks his role with ferocity.  (The scenes where he goads the other prisoners to take him on have a bit of a Bronson vibe to them.)  I can’t fault his performance.  It’s just that the character is so shallowly written that he never quite comes to life.  The inert pacing and choppy narrative also help to drain interest from his character’s plight.

Usually, whenever Scott Adkins gets sent to prison, it makes for a good movie.  If you’ve ever seen any of the Undisputed sequels, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Unfortunately, Avengement seems to be the exception to the rule.  

BLACK MASS (2015) ***

Director Scott Cooper’s Black Mass tells the story of how notorious South Boston gangster Whitey Bulger (Johnny Depp) rose to power, thanks to his FBI connections.  Whitey makes an alliance with his childhood friend, John Connolly (Joel Edgerton), who is now an FBI agent, and together, they take down his criminal adversaries.  The way Whitey looks at it, it isn’t snitching.  He’s merely using the Bureau to take out his competition.  When Whitey resorts to murder to keep himself on top, it jeopardizes his arrangement with Connolly and threatens to bring them both down.  

Black Mass is a well-acted, and slick looking crime drama.  While it’s always engaging, it stops short of being completely engrossing.  Even though we’re along for the ride as Whitey ascends to become the kingpin of Boston, we never really learn what makes him tick.  Many times, the film feels like it’s rushing towards its conclusion, and in the process, it shortchanges character development (the death of Bulger’s young son feels almost like a deleted scene that somehow wound up in the movie) in favor of plot development.

Even as far as Johnny Depp gangster movies go, Black Mass comes up a little short.  It’s missing the nuance and heart that made Donnie Brasco a classic and it lacks the thrill ride bravado of Blow.  (I did like the rise to power montage set to The Rolling Stones’ “Slave” though.)  I will say it’s a lot more fun than Public Enemies.  

The performances keep you invested, even when the movie itself feels like it’s on autopilot.  Depp is particularly great as Bulger.  With his gaunt face, receding hairline, and dark shades, he often looks like Hunter S. Thompson’s evil doppelganger.  It’s a truly menacing performance.  He’s especially chilling during a dinner table discussion in which he goes from congenial to killer in the wink of an eye.  I just wish the character itself was better written.  Then again, it’s easy to dismiss the so-so script when you have a supporting cast that includes Benedict Cumberbatch, Kevin Bacon, Peter Sarsgaard, Jesse Plemons, and David Harbour perfectly matched against Depp’s sinister portrayal of an amoral criminal.  

AKA:  Strictly Criminal.

BLOOD OF REDEMPTION (2013) **

After watching Altitude as part of the Direct to Video Connoisseur Podcast, I decided to take a chance on another latter-day Dolph Lundgren movie.  Blood of Redemption had the makings for a good one.  First off, get a load of the fantastic cast:  Vinnie Jones, Billy Zane, Robert Davi.  Sounds right up my alley, doesn’t it?  While the ingredients for success were there, the recipe left something to be desired. 

Dolph stars as Axel, the loyal bodyguard of a mobster family.  The patriarch of the clan, Sergio (Robert Miano) is about to retire, and he tries to convince his eldest son Quinn (Zane) to do the same.  When Sergio is assassinated, it’s up to Axel to figure out who was behind the hit and get revenge.

Blood of Redemption commits a lot of the deadly sins that can sink a DTV actioner.  First and foremost, it spreads its cast too thin.  They don’t get much screen time together, and when they do, it comes in small chunks.  It also relies far too heavily on narration in hopes to tying all those moments together.  In fact, it seems like Dolph’s sole purpose in the early going is that of a human exposition dump as he narrates the various flashbacks to get you up to speed on all the characters. 

Speaking of which, each time a new character is introduced, there’s a title card with their name on it accompanied by a whooshing sound effect.  This is one of my least favorite trends in recent DTV movies and I sank a little more in my seat each time a new character was introduced.  Another irritating trend in the DTV action world is the overreliance on painfully obvious CGI muzzle flashes and bullet hits during the shootouts.  Blood of Redemption features a lot of them, and it’s enough to make you wistful for the days of old-fashioned squibs.

It’s not all bad though.  There are occasional glimpses of awesomeness here that help to make it endurable.  As long as I’ve been watching these things, I never would’ve guessed I’d see the day when Robert Davi and Vinnie Jones would play father and son!  (You even get to hear Davi doing an English accent!)  Zane and Jones have good chemistry during a shady-deal-gone-wrong scene, enough to make you wish they had more scenes together throughout the movie. 

Dolph has a quiet intensity that powers his scenes.  Unfortunately, he spends way too much time in a hotel room trying to put the pieces of the plot together.  At least he gets to participate in the best fight scene of the movie when he busts into a sex club and winds up brawling with a karate-kicking dominatrix.  Fleeting moments like this almost redeem Blood of Redemption, but the fractured narrative prevents the film from getting your blood pumping.

Director Giorgio Serafini also worked with Dolph on Ambushed, Puncture Wounds, and The Tracker. 

AKA:  Outrage Gang.

Direct to Video Connoisseur’s review of Blood of Redemption can be found here:  www.dtvconnoisseur.blogspot.com/2013/11/blood-of-redemption-2013.html   

INTERZONE (1989) ***

In 1988, director Deran Serafian starred in Lucio Fulci’s bug nuts epic, Zombi 3.  When Fulci had a stroke, Claudio Fragasso (the man who would later go on to direct the immortal Troll 2) was brought in (along with Bruno Mattei) to finish the movie.  Serafian and Fragasso must’ve gotten along pretty well because they teamed up again the next year for this similarly bonkers post-apocalyptic actioner.  This time, Serafian directed and helped Fragasso write the script, and the result is a fun, uneven, and goofy blending of their sensibilities.    

Re-Animator’s Bruce Abbott stars as Swan, a loner who rides around the post-apocalyptic landscape in his modified dune buggy.  A group of psychic monks think he’s the key to stopping a warlord named Mantis (female bodybuilder Teagan Clive from Alienator) from taking over the wasteland known as “Interzone”.  They send out a monk named Panasonic (Kiro Wehara, Thong from Cave Dwellers) to convince Swan to join in the fight.  Naturally, they have to bribe him with the promise of treasure, and it isn’t long before Mantis wants her hands on the loot too.

Interzone kicks off with a memorable opening where Swan is forced to partake in a drinking game that manages to be reminiscent of both the poisoned wine scene in The Princess Bride and the Russian Roulette scene in The Deer Hunter.  This sequence culminates in what I think may be the only post-nuke barroom brawl set to an old timey player piano, making it feel like something out of a silent movie.  I think it might also be one of the few post-apocalyptic bar scenes in which the exotic dancer on stage is a man.

The scene where you know Serafian doesn’t take any of this seriously is when Abbott rescues Tera (Beatrice Ring) from the slave auction.  Not only does it feature a slow motion shot of Tera throwing her hair into the air seductively, it also contains a slow-motion fantasy scene where she and Swan run toward each other in a meadow.  It’s a long way to go to establish they’re falling in love at first sight, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t funny as hell.  He then proceeds to rescue her using his trusty whip (just like Indiana Jones), which leads to a prolonged car chase.

The editing is bad in some scenes.  When a character is bitten by a snake, all you are shown is a snake slithering in the grass and then a shot of a guy holding his hand.  You just have to accept it and move on. 

Sure, Interzone is uneven and clunky in spots, but it’s also just weird and unpredictable enough to keep you entertained.  Yes, there are some rough patches along the way.  Will I remember those moments?  Nope.  What I will remember is the part when Teagan makes Abbott her prisoner and forces him to participate in a 9 ½ Weeks-style sex scene.  I will also remember the scene that predates Army of Darkness in which an actor named Bruce gets tossed down a pit and does battle with a slimy monster in a fog shrouded dungeon.  I will even remember the cameo by Laura Gemser (with short hair!) as a pregnant woman who meet a gruesome demise.

Fans of Italian-made post-apocalyptic action movies are sure to enjoy this one.  There’s plenty of cheese to go around and even a few legitimately well-done action beats.  I’ll admit, you sometimes have to wait a while before the movie throws you a memorably-WTF scene, but brother, when it does… WOW.

Serafian went on to helm the immortal Terminal Velocity. 

THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA (2019) *

La Llorona, otherwise known as The Crying Woman, is a scary Mexican folktale.  She is a ghostly woman whose cries attracts young, wayward children.  Once she has them in her grasps, she promptly drowns them and disappears.

Her story has previously appeared many times on film.  The Curse of the Crying Woman is one of the greatest Mexican horror movies of all time.  Vengeance of the Crying Woman is a fun El Santo flick that makes good use of her legend.  This is a modern Hollywood gringo retelling for today’s audience.  That means it’s filled with lots of long scenes where people wander around darkened hallways before something jumps out at the camera, and there’s a shrill, piercing sting on the soundtrack.  Give me the good old Mexican movies any day.

Linda Cardellini stars.  You might remember her as Velma from the Scooby-Doo movies.  I think the only thing that could’ve saved this from being a total waste of time is if she lost her glasses and said, “Jinkies!” a bunch of times.

Anyways, she plays a CPS worker who saves some kids from a supposedly abusive foster home.  Really, as we all know, it’s The Crying Woman who’s doing all the abusing.  After the kids wind up dead, The Crying Woman sets her sights on Linda’s children.

And she would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.

Most of the alleged suspense scenes are long, drawn out affairs.  Many are bathed in total blackness in lieu of actual atmosphere.  The same clichés are trotted out again and again, with only slight variations throughout the running time.  Just when you thought it can’t get any worse, they stoop to ripping off The Grudge with a scene where a ghostly pair of hands touch a character’s hair while they’re in the tub.  

Which country’s legends are you focusing on?  Mexico or Japan?  Pick a country and stick with it.

The clunky script also calls for characters to do stupid things in the name of suspense, only causing you to mutter “dumbass” under your breath at their sheer stupidity.  Like this one scene where the witch doctor tells someone don’t cross this line because The Crying Woman’s on the other side.  Seconds later, they do just that.  The make-up on La Llorona is cheesy too (she looks like something out of a Full Moon movie), which doesn’t help either.

If there is a silver lining, it’s the appearance of perennial That Guy Raymond Cruz turning up in a sizable role as the witch doctor who tries to cleanse the house of the evil.  Naturally, the family are so stupid that they don’t listen to anything he has to say, which ends up causing them more grief.  If Hollywood keeps making more movies this shitty based on the legend of La Llorona, all I have to say is weep for the future.  

AKA:  The Curse of the Weeping Woman.  

ARIZONA (2018) **

When the housing bubble burst in the early part of the century, many homeowners fell victim to predatory loans, became stuck with mortgage payments they could not afford, and wound up losing their homes.  Arizona is a darkly comic thriller that tries to tap into that frustration to fuel its plot.  It’s a novel and promising set-up, but unfortunately, the follow-through lands with a thud.

Danny McBride stars as a disgruntled homeowner about to lose his house.  He goes to the real estate office and confronts the realtor (Seth Rogen) who sold him his home and they wind up getting into a brawl.  During the scuffle, McBride accidentally kills the guy and is forced to kidnap another agent (Rosemarie DeWitt) who witnessed the whole thing to make her stay quiet.

It’s a great hook.  In fact, the opening twenty minutes or so would make for a terrific short film.  Think Desperate Hours meets The Big Short.  It’s just that the tension soon dissipates once the plot becomes more and more repetitive.  McBride does something stupid, DeWitt escapes, he has to recapture her, and another poor dope winds up dead.  There are only so many variations on this scenario you can do before it gets tiresome.  

First-time director Jonathan Watson does deliver one legitimately effective scene when DeWitt escapes McBride’s home, only to run through an eerily abandoned cul de sac full of empty houses.  It’s a good scene, but nothing in the next hour or so comes close to topping it.  The constant introduction of unnecessary supporting characters also helps break the tension when it really should be heating up.  I like many of the cast members (everyone from Luke Wilson to David Alan Grier turn up at some point).  It’s just every time the film cuts to their bit of side business it pokes a hole in the suspense.  

Despite the casting of many comedic talents, this is more of a kidnapping-gone-wrong thriller.  I enjoyed seeing McBride turning his usual persona into something a bit more sinister.  Too bad his character is one-note and wears thin after the first half-hour.  It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Kaitlin Olson fares the best as McBride’s ex-wife who wants no part in his schemes.  It’s a shame she doesn’t stick around very long because she could’ve made the stay in Arizona more enjoyable.

HEART OF DRAGON (1985) **

Jackie Chan stars as Ted, a hotshot cop who spends most of his off-duty time caring for his childlike brother Dodo (Sammo Hung), who has special needs.  Keeping tabs on his brother is so exhausting that it makes Ted want to run away and join the Navy, so he doesn’t have to put up with Dodo’s shenanigans.  However, when Dodo is kidnapped by criminals, the dutiful Ted runs to his rescue.

Even though Jackie Chan is the star of Heart of Dragon, most of the screen time is devoted to Hung hanging around with a group of kids who act like an Asian version of The Little Rascals.  Their misadventures (going to a restaurant without being able to pay, coercing Hung into posing as a kid’s father when he gets in trouble at school, etc.) are OK, but it really comes at the expense of the action.  

Speaking of action, most of the Kung Fu stuff is limited to the beginning and end of the film.  Jackie gets a bombastic Ramboesque opening sequence that turns out to be nothing more than a training mission.  There’s also a good car vs. motorcycles chase scene that feels like something out of a Police Story sequel.  The finale, set in a building under construction, is more violent than your typical Chan movie, and involves him slicing people with machetes, stabbing them with crowbars, and shooting them in cold blood.  These events are rather shocking, and lack the carefree fun of his stunt-heavy best work.

Still, Jackie and Sammo are quite good together.  Easily the best scene in the movie is when Chan finds Hung’s tutor belittling him for his condition.  Even though many of the scenes of the brothers squabbling are unnecessarily maudlin, this moment when he stands up for his brother strikes the right dramatic balance that the rest of the film fails to achieve.  

Then, there’s the overlong and bizarre denouement featuring Chan going to prison for acting above the law.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before in an action movie, and with good reason too.  It just sucks the life out of the film and makes the last ten minutes a chore to get through. 

AKA:  First Mission.  AKA:  Heart of the Dragon.  AKA:  Powerman 3.