INTERZONE (1989) ***

In 1988, director Deran Serafian starred in Lucio Fulci’s bug nuts epic, Zombi 3.  When Fulci had a stroke, Claudio Fragasso (the man who would later go on to direct the immortal Troll 2) was brought in (along with Bruno Mattei) to finish the movie.  Serafian and Fragasso must’ve gotten along pretty well because they teamed up again the next year for this similarly bonkers post-apocalyptic actioner.  This time, Serafian directed and helped Fragasso write the script, and the result is a fun, uneven, and goofy blending of their sensibilities.    

Re-Animator’s Bruce Abbott stars as Swan, a loner who rides around the post-apocalyptic landscape in his modified dune buggy.  A group of psychic monks think he’s the key to stopping a warlord named Mantis (female bodybuilder Teagan Clive from Alienator) from taking over the wasteland known as “Interzone”.  They send out a monk named Panasonic (Kiro Wehara, Thong from Cave Dwellers) to convince Swan to join in the fight.  Naturally, they have to bribe him with the promise of treasure, and it isn’t long before Mantis wants her hands on the loot too.

Interzone kicks off with a memorable opening where Swan is forced to partake in a drinking game that manages to be reminiscent of both the poisoned wine scene in The Princess Bride and the Russian Roulette scene in The Deer Hunter.  This sequence culminates in what I think may be the only post-nuke barroom brawl set to an old timey player piano, making it feel like something out of a silent movie.  I think it might also be one of the few post-apocalyptic bar scenes in which the exotic dancer on stage is a man.

The scene where you know Serafian doesn’t take any of this seriously is when Abbott rescues Tera (Beatrice Ring) from the slave auction.  Not only does it feature a slow motion shot of Tera throwing her hair into the air seductively, it also contains a slow-motion fantasy scene where she and Swan run toward each other in a meadow.  It’s a long way to go to establish they’re falling in love at first sight, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t funny as hell.  He then proceeds to rescue her using his trusty whip (just like Indiana Jones), which leads to a prolonged car chase.

The editing is bad in some scenes.  When a character is bitten by a snake, all you are shown is a snake slithering in the grass and then a shot of a guy holding his hand.  You just have to accept it and move on. 

Sure, Interzone is uneven and clunky in spots, but it’s also just weird and unpredictable enough to keep you entertained.  Yes, there are some rough patches along the way.  Will I remember those moments?  Nope.  What I will remember is the part when Teagan makes Abbott her prisoner and forces him to participate in a 9 ½ Weeks-style sex scene.  I will also remember the scene that predates Army of Darkness in which an actor named Bruce gets tossed down a pit and does battle with a slimy monster in a fog shrouded dungeon.  I will even remember the cameo by Laura Gemser (with short hair!) as a pregnant woman who meet a gruesome demise.

Fans of Italian-made post-apocalyptic action movies are sure to enjoy this one.  There’s plenty of cheese to go around and even a few legitimately well-done action beats.  I’ll admit, you sometimes have to wait a while before the movie throws you a memorably-WTF scene, but brother, when it does… WOW.

Serafian went on to helm the immortal Terminal Velocity.