TWISTER (1996) ** ½

Like Independence Day, and maybe The Blair Witch Project, Twister had the advantage of being a great opening night experience.  It plays best with a packed house with your head swimming with the hype surrounding it.  Seeing it on the biggest screen possible with the loudest sound system available, as a moviegoing experience, it’s hard to beat.  As with the previously mentioned movies, when viewed at home on an average sized TV all by your lonesome, it’s rather underwhelming. 

Bill Paxton is an ex-storm chaser who tracks down his wife (Helen Hunt) so she can finally sign the divorce papers.  She’s in the midst of tracking a potentially historic tornado event, which means a swarm of twisters could be headed their way.  Naturally, he gets sucked back into his old storm-chasing ways and they two eventually rekindle their romance while ducking high wind, hail, and killer tornados. 

The story is paper thin, which makes sense since that’s the first thing that gets sucked up in the funnel cloud.  On the big screen, the plot didn’t matter as it was the cinematic equivalent of a theme park ride.  I hadn’t seen it in a long time, so I was surprised that the effects still hold up for the most part.  The sound design is still great too.  If you want to check out your new sound system this would be a great test reel.  As a movie though, it leaves something to be desired. 

The flaws are magnified on the small screen.  If the plot is paper thin, the characters are translucent.  Although I like many of the actors involved, I can’t say I gave one lick about the characters.  It doesn’t help that the so called “Storm Chasers” are all annoying.  Even Phillip Seymour Hoffman is grating.  It doesn’t help that they all feel like a cross between roadies for a rock band and science geeks.

Also, there is zero chemistry between Paxton and Hunt.  I guess this was the beginning of Paxton trying to be a leading man (at least in a big budget movie).  Unfortunately, he left his charisma at home.  It’s just further proof that he was at his best when playing wild-eyed supporting characters.  Hunt is especially vanilla, although it’s not really her fault that all she really gets to do is squint in the distance and look at incoming funnel clouds.

I guess the filmmakers were afraid that making a tornado a villain wasn’t enough, so there’s also a gratuitous human villain.  Cary Elwes plays a rival storm chaser with corporate sponsorship who piggybacks on the heroes’ tornado hunt hoping to hog the glory.  That wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t just playing a slight variation on the evil redneck character he played in Days of Thunder. 

If you get a chance to catch it in a theater, by all means do so.  Seeing it at home is about only half as much fun.  Still, if you want to see a cow fly....

Theatrical Experience:  *** ½.  Home Viewing Experience:  **.  AVG:  ** ½.

BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY (1979) ***

 

Buck Rogers in the 25^th Century was one of the rare TV pilots that was released to theaters ahead of the series’ television premiere.  Since it was cashing in on Star Wars, it was a sizeable hit.  Too bad the show only lasted two seasons because it was a lot of fun.

I have particularly fond memories of the show growing up.  While Princess Leia was always my first crush, Princess Ardala (Pamela Hensley) from Buck Rogers was the first time I remember being introduced to the concept of a “bad girl” who could be just as sexy, if not more so, than the heroine.  It’s funny, because I also had a big crush on Erin Gray, who played Wilma Deering, Buck’s trusted compatriot.  Wilma is pure, independent, beautiful, and every bit a match for Buck.  Ardala is sexy, wicked, and minces around in outfits so skimpy they would make Barbarella blush.  Although both characters are alluring in their own way, you definitely get the feeling the Madonna/Whore Complex was still going strong in the 25^th Century. 

The opening credits sequence for the movie are kind of jaw-dropping, especially if you’re only used to seeing the show’s opening credits.  This sequence is clearly modeled on the Bond openings as they feature Gray, Hensley, and a bevy of other beauties in space bikinis lounging around on top of the florescent Buck Rogers logo.  There’s only one way to describe it, and I think the term the kids use today is “Thirsty”. 

In the twentieth century, astronaut Buck Rogers (Gil Gerard) takes off in a rocket ship on a space mission.  There is an accident, and he winds up frozen in time, perfectly preserved for five hundred years.  The evil Draconian Princess Ardala, who is on her way to attack Earth, finds Rogers’ ship, awakens him, and hopes to use him as a pawn in her schemes.  When Buck is accused of treason, he has to clear his name and sets out to singlehandedly take down the Draconian forces. 

Even as a fan of the show, I readily admit all of this is a little clunky.  Even though it’s essentially two episodes strung together, there really isn’t enough plot to fill a half-hour sitcom.  Ardala’s plan is sketchy at best, and Buck’s Rip Van Winkle syndrome isn’t fully mined for its fullest potential.  (Although the series would get some mileage out of it down the road.) 

It was clearly inspired by Star Wars, and as far as the Star Wars rip-offs that populated theaters in the ‘70s and ‘80s go, it’s one of the best.  It gives you everything you want to see in a Star Wars rip-off and manages to be quite entertaining while doing so.  As far as cute robots go, I always thought Twiki (Felix Silla, with the voice of Mel Blanc) got a bad rap.  I couldn’t get enough of him when I was a kid, and I like him well enough now.  (I still have my action figure.)  While he doesn’t really talk as much as he’d later would in the series, he gets plenty of funny lines like, “I’m freezing my ball bearings off!”.  The interstellar dogfights are well done, and the effects still hold up for the most part now.

Gerard is perfect as Buck.  He’s sort of square, sure, but he’s immensely likeable and doesn’t take it all too seriously.  Henry Silva is well-cast and shows admirable restraint as Kane, Ardala’s right hand man.  Gray is good too, although it takes some time to get used to her blonde hair as she’d later go brunette for the rest of the series. 

The movie really belongs to Hensley.  My God.  She is definitely in the top three babes of all time.  People give the scene at the big ball where Buck introduces the twenty-fifth century to rock n’ roll (although it sounds more like disco) a lot of shit, but who cares what the music sounds like when Hensley is drop dead gorgeous throughout?  People talk about Princess Leia in her metal bikini, but I’ll take the white bikini Ardala any day.  (Even if she is saddled with a headdress that looks like it came from the closet of the Grand Poobah from The Flintstones.)

THE DEVILS (1971) ***

I’ve heard so much about Ken Russell’s notorious film The Devils over the years that I guess I was bound to be somewhat disappointed by the time I actually saw it.  That’s not to say it’s a bad movie.  Far from it.  It looks great, has some terrific acting, and memorable set pieces.  It’s just far from the shocking spectacle I always pictured it to be. 

Maybe that’s because the version on Shudder is the American cut.  Apparently, the UK version is racier, but I guess us Yanks are too prudish to enjoy it.  (Which is weird given all that “Video Nasty” shit the Brits go on and on about.)  Even in its censored version, it’s still a solid flick.

Oliver Reed (who was also in Russell’s Tommy) stars as a priest with lust in his heart who knocks up a young virgin.  Vanessa Redgrave is the hunchback nun who has the hots for him, but naturally, he doesn’t give her the time of day.  Scorned, she plots her revenge by accusing him of witchcraft.  Soon, the townsfolk the priest has enraged along the way also team up to have him tortured and executed as a heretic. 

I’m sure The Devils was shocking as all get-out when it first came out.  I think the best thing I can say about it is that it went on to inspire the “Nunsploitation” craze of the ‘70s as well as the skeevy likes of such exploitation favorites as Mark of the Devil.  Any exploitation movie scholar should see it as this was the first of its kind (although The Conqueror Worm had similar witch hunting sequences, just without the religious overtones).  However, the films it would later inspire are a lot more depraved and nastier if you ask me.

Reed is great as the boastful priest.  His character is interesting because in a way, he kind of welcomes what’s coming to him if only so he can show his faith in God.  He’s a fornicator and a cheat, but he’s not exactly evil as he bravely defends his village and his congregation from outsiders seeking to tear down the city walls.  Redgrave is a hoot as the gnarled nun with a horny streak.  Too bad I didn’t get to see the uncut version where she apparently gets it on with a human bone.

Because it is a Ken Russell film, it looks beautiful, has some impressive (sometimes exhausting) camerawork, and is gleefully over the top.  However, it’s not particularly scary or shocking.  I guess that all depends on your upbringing.  If you were a choirboy, I’m sure it will all seem quite blasphemous.  To someone like me who is well-versed in exploitation movies and gross-out horror, it was just another day at the office. 

BOSS LEVEL (2021) ***

Former soldier Frank Grillo wakes up to find that he is living (or more accurately, dying) the same day over and over again.  He is pursued by a gaggle of wildly different “bosses” who murder him in a number of violent ways.  He eventually learns that the only way to stop the never-ending time loop is to save his scientist ex-wife (Naomi Watts) from being killed by her sadistic boss (Mel Gibson) who wants to use the time loop machine for his own devious aims.

Directed by Joe Carnahan, Boss Level is basically the action movie version of Groundhog Day.  Or Edge of Tomorrow.  Or Happy Death Day.  Or Happy Death Day 2U.  Or Lucky.  Look, originality is not this movie’s strong suit.  Normally, I take films to task for being repetitive, but that’s sort of this one’s M.O.  As with those features, as the character repeats his day over and over again, he learns to be less selfish and begins to help others.  Unlike Groundhog Day, this one has a lot of shootouts, decapitations, and scenes of Michelle Yeoh playing a Kung Fu sword master.  Because of that, I dug it.

As far as those Emmett/Furla DTV actioners go (or in this case, DTH… which is short for Direct to Hulu), Boss Level feels the closest to being a real movie.  That’s mostly because Carnahan is the goods.  Even if the flick borrows heavily from other films, he is able to imbue it with a sense of fun, energy, and quirkiness. 

The cast is solid, which helps tremendously.  Watts’ character is mostly Ms. Exposition, but she and Grillo have enough chemistry for you to overlook some of her scientific gobbledygook-heavy dialogue scenes.  Gibson has a few choice moments (although they are mostly weighted towards the beginning) and really seems to be relishing biting into the scenery. 

Really, this is a tailormade vehicle for Grillo.  He gives one of his best performances.  He’s essentially a video game character and he certainly has the look for it.  (I mean that in the best possible way.)  However, he’s good enough to suggest the character is deeper than what’s on the surface when it suits, and has enough fun with the role to revel in the loonier aspects of what the script requires him to sometimes do. 

The premise is little more than an “elevator pitch”.  However, Carnahan keeps the momentum going at such a breakneck pace that it hardly matters.  Sure, the characters may be stuck in a time loop, but the movie most assuredly doesn’t chase its tail.   

COMING 2 AMERICA (2021) ****

The original Coming to America was a pleasant but inessential fish out of water comedy.  I’m usually wary of belated sequels (the movie pokes fun at them as well), but this one turned out far better than I ever expected.  Hiring the director of Dolemite is My Name, Craig Brewer was a smart decision.  In that film, he got the best out of Eddie Murphy, not to mention the ensemble cast.  Here, with a broader canvas, he is able to juggle a lot of subplots, thematic material, musical numbers, and still deliver something that feels fresh, energetic, and most of all, funny.

Murphy reprises his role as Prince Akeem, who is now King of the African nation of Zamunda.  He’s in desperate need of a male heir to unite his kingdom with a warring neighboring country led by the sly General Izzi (Wesley Snipes).  As luck would have it, Akeem learns he has a son in Queens, a product of a one-night stand he had while he was in America in the original movie.  Along with his trusty pal Semmi (Arsenio Hall), they return to America to find him.  Once Akeem’s son, Lavelle (Jermaine Fowler) learns of his heritage, he travels to Zamunda where, much to his father’s chagrin, he decides he’s going to do things his way. 

Despite the title, most of the action takes place in Zamunda and it’s brimming with vibrant costumes, sets, and energy, which gives the film its own identity from the original (while probably owing a debt of inspiration to Black Panther).  Many would lazily call it a flip-flop of the first film, but Coming 2 America’s theme is what makes it unique.  It’s about the importance of finding your own identity while simultaneously honoring the past and blazing your own path towards a bright future.  Just as the young prince is able to do all that, so does the movie.

The early scenes are the funniest.  There’s a great funeral sequence that features many great cameos and some awesome musical numbers.  Once Murphy and Hall (who practically look the same even if there is some CGI de-aging during the flashback scenes) go back to America, we get some great callbacks to the original.  Naturally, there’s another hilarious barbershop scene, which is the comedic highpoint.  (Never mind the fact that the old dudes in the shop haven’t aged a day in thirty-three years.)

When the action switches back to Zamunda for the second act, the story’s momentum shifts from the father to the son.  I initially thought the movie would start to peter out at this point, but Fowler’s performance was quite good, and his quest to find his own place in the world was unique and absorbing enough for me to be won over.  By the end, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed seeing the baton being passed from father to son. 

In short, Coming 2 America is one of the best movies of the year.  It’s a heartfelt, funny, and sweet film.  I can’t wait to go back to Zamunda.  Hopefully, Murphy doesn’t make us wait another thirty-three years to do so.  

WILD HIPPIE ORGY (1967) **

Wild Hippie Orgy originally ran as a co-feature with Psychedelicsex Kicks.  It’s easy to see why as they are thematically similar (both involve hippies and orgies).  Not only that, but Psychedelicsex Kicks was short (less than an hour) and this one is even shorter (about a half-hour), so it made sense to run them as one ninety-minute attraction.  Even though this is only half as long as Psychedelicsex Kicks, it feels much longer thanks to the stagnant pacing, lackadaisical editing, and (mostly) disinterested performers.

People arrive for a party in a cramped apartment.  There is drinking, conversation, dancing, and music.  Some people are already naked when the party starts.  Others are in the midst of disrobing.  Eventually, more and more people get naked.  A dude starts playing the bongos, which leads to more dancing and jiggling.  Finally, a few people start making out and/or having sex.

Wild Hippie Orgy plays like an overlong stag loop.  There’s no plot, things just sort of happen, and you have to wait a long time before you get to see any action.  Although there is one sort of psychedelic sequence, I don’t remember them showing anyone actually getting high, so I’m not exactly sure what they were tripping out on.  Once the psychedelic sex action kicks into gear, the lovemaking scenes slowly become superimposed over each another while flashing lights go on and off.  Unfortunately, by showing the naughty bits in such a “trippy” fashion, it makes it hard to tell what the hell is going on.

The girls are slightly better looking than the ones found in Psychedelicsex Kicks, so that’s a plus.  Some of the music isn’t bad either.  However, it’s far from what I would call “Wild”.  (There have been Christian Mingle socials that were crazier than this.)  I’m not even sure if some of these folks could be considered “Hippies” now that I think about it. 

PSYCHEDELICSEX KICKS (1967) ** ½

A dirty hippie goes to Golden Gate Park (“This park has swings, and better yet—Swingers!”)  and does his “Pied Piper bit”.  By that, I mean he blows on his pan flute, mesmerizes a couple of babes, and has them follow him home.   He then gets them stoned and gives them LSD before they undress (VERY slowly) and make out.  Once the drugs REALLY kick in, they are joined by another gal who initiates a psychedelic body painting orgy.  Eventually, things start getting weird once a snake shows up looking for a good time.  (You know there’s always that one asshole who brings a snake to an orgy.) 

The hippie’s constant narration sounds like Rod Serling reading Timothy Leary, and while much of it is unnecessary, there are a few funny lines.  Halfway through, one of the women takes over the narrating duties as slowly, more and more psychedelic effects begin to be superimposed over the action.  Some of the effects are typical, like the kaleidoscopic lights, but some of the surreal imagery is surprisingly effective (like the scene where “the guru” crawls after one of his conquests in a room full of balloons). 

Psychedelicsex Kicks isn’t exactly what I would call “erotic”, (the participants don’t exactly look thrilled to be there, and they sometimes look directly into the camera), but it’s short (under an hour long), features a lot of nudity, and has plenty of sleazy atmosphere.  It also makes for a great ‘60s time capsule as it is brimming with outdated fashions, slang, and go-go dancing.  Although it is kind of slow to start, once it gets moving, there’s enough scenes of horny hippies jiggling their jugs to make it an OK way to kill fifty-one minutes.  (The body painting scene in particular, is a lot of fun.) 

Overall, Psychedelicsex Kicks probably won’t be much of a “turn-on”, but it’s entertaining enough to make sure you don’t “drop-out” before all is said and done.

AKA:  Psychedelic Sex Kicks.