WILLY’S WONDERLAND (2021) * ½

Willy’s Wonderland has a premise that seems like it can’t miss and somehow manages to do so in record time.  Wildly.  Imagine if there was a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant that had a County Bears Jamboree-style band full of animatronic animals that came to life and killed people.  Now imagine that the only man who can stop them is Nicolas Cage.  Sounds promising, right?  Despite the seemingly foolproof set-up, the movie squanders nearly all its potential early on and it begins circling the drain shortly thereafter.  

The problems are numerous.  First off, the killer animatronics are lame and unmemorable.  It would’ve been something if they all had some kind of gimmick, but they are all kind of interchangeable, even if they are all completely different animals (and one Tinkerbell rip-off).  Another stumbling block is that the deaths, while gory, are staged in such a clumsy manner that we can derive little entertainment from the silly sight of the angry animatronic assault.  The shaky camerawork and whiplash editing during these scenes are reminiscent of an early ‘00s action movie.  That is to say, they are nearly incoherent.

Many of the other issues I had with the film could’ve been easily forgiven if it had managed to be entertaining.  Stuff like annoying teenagers, massive exposition dumps, and repetitive kills might not have been so arduous to endure if there was a sense of fun to the proceedings.  No such luck, I’m afraid.

However, the biggest miscalculation by far was taking such a gifted and energetic performer like Cage and asking him to dial the energy down to 0.  What’s worse, is that he doesn’t speak a single line of dialogue in the movie!  This might’ve been an intriguing idea had Cage been allowed to chew the scenery as compensation for his lack of dialogue.  In fact, had he attempted this silent gimmick in a completely different film, it might’ve work.  Ultimately, his Zen-like stare does little to enhance this one.  Heck, even if he had been allowed to go into a full-on Cage Rage and was given all the dialogue in the world, I’m still not sure he could’ve saved Willy’s Wonderland, but it would’ve been, at the very least, memorable.    

DUDES (1988) **

Jon Cryer, Daniel Roebuck, and Flea star as a trio of punks who have had it up to here with New York City and head on out to Los Angeles to start fresh.  While camping in the desert, they are jumped by a gang of rednecks led by Lee Ving who rob them and kill Flea.  When the local cops won’t lift a finger to help them, Cryer and Roebuck go out for revenge.  Along the way, they are guided by the spirits of a cowboy and a Native American who aid them in their quest for vengeance.  

Dudes is a weird movie.  It’s neither fish nor fowl.  At its core, I think it wanted to be a punk movie.  Director Penelope Spheeris made her bones directing the punk documentary The Decline of Western Civilization, and I think this was her attempt to graft that punk sensibility into a modern-day western kind of plotline.  The early going certainly works as Spheeris gives the punk club sequence an authentic vibe.  

When the film switches gears and becomes a revenge picture, it all sort of falls apart.  I can’t fault the actors.  Cryer and Roebuck do the best they can with their lame costumes (both punk and western attire).  Catherine Mary Stewart is also quite good as the tomboy love interest, but it’s Ving who leaves the biggest impression as the villain.  (He was also in Civilization.)  

It doesn’t help that the spirit quest Native American flashbacks and ghostly cowboy appearances are cheesy and poorly done.  It’s like Spheeris was in her element during all the punk rock scenes, but didn’t have a clue when it came to the western style stuff.  Not that you could really blame her, since the messy script was all over the place to begin with.  I did like the shootout that occurred in a movie theater that was playing a western in the background during the gunfire, but other than that touch, the third act feels rushed and lacks punch.

LICORICE PIZZA (2021) ***

Gary (Cooper Hoffman) is a child star from the Valley who has a crush on the older Alana (Alana Haim).  He charms her, despite the obvious age difference, and coaxes her into becoming his partner on a variety of get-rich-quick schemes that involve everything from waterbeds to pinball arcades.  Even though Gary is much younger than Alana, he seems to have it all figured out as he is confident, cocky, and a born hustler.  Alana on the other hand is still coming into her own and uses Gary’s hairbrained scams as a way to hopefully find herself.  

Licorice Pizza is Paul Thomas Anderson’s ninth movie.  It’s probably his most lightweight and forgettable flick, but when it hits the sweet spot, it’s a good time.  The push-me-pull-you platonic love affair between the two leads is sweet up to a point.  Both Hoffman and Haim give naturalistic performances that help make their characters feel like offbeat quirky people and not just your typical stereotypical characters you’re used to seeing in these coming-of-age films.  

The plot is episodic at best and repetitive at worst.  Most of the time, it feels like Anderson wrote a YA novel and then decided to instead adapt it into a movie.  Scene transitions are sometimes choppy, and occasionally feel like chapters in a book.  It also doesn’t help that Gary’s constant ping-ponging from scheme to scheme gets a little tiresome after a while.  While Hoffman and Haim have definite chemistry, their characters’ on-again off-again antics causes the flick to go in circles.  

Interestingly enough, the movie really comes to life when a couple of old pros show up for extended cameos and momentarily steal the show.  Sean Penn is great as an aging movie star who temporarily steals Alana away so he can recreate his most famous stunt.  Then there’s Bradley Cooper who blows everybody out of the water with his manic turn as producer Jon Peters.  The sequence where Hoffman and company play cat and mouse with him echoes the finale of Anderson’s Boogie Nights a little bit and is one of the best scenes he’s ever put on film.  It’s a shame the rest of the flick lacks the pizazz of this sequence, as most of the time, it meanders perhaps a bit too much.

While Licorice Pizza may be a lesser PTA flick, it’s still a PTA flick, and because of that, it’s still worth checking out.  

THE SPARKS BROTHERS (2021) *** ½

Edgar Wright’s funny, breezy, informative documentary on the unclassifiable band Sparks is one of this year’s real treats.  It’s a love letter to band’s longevity, creativity, and yes, I would say, genius.  Refusing to be pigeonholed, brothers Ron and Russell Mael thumbed their noses at convention, refusing to play by the industry’s rules, and changed their musical direction every couple of albums.  Together since the ‘70s, they continue to put out music at an incredible rate, making them one of the most durable acts of all time.

I’m sure many of you probably have never heard of Sparks before.  However, I guarantee you’ve probably heard one of their songs.  In fact, you probably have heard two of their songs and never knew it was the same band because of their chameleon-like sound.  

Their stage dynamic is pretty irresistible.  Ron, stone-faced and sporting a Hitler mustache plays the keyboards while pretty boy Russell belts out operatic melodies.  That same dynamic is front and center during the interview segments, as the brothers are often hilarious together.  

The film follows their formation and early success under the guidance of Todd Rundgren.  Time and again, they prove to be ahead of their time, which usually doesn’t help boost record sales.  I mean it’s hard to really maintain sales when you change your sound every couple of albums.  It’s even harder when you are doing electronic and New Wave records before those genres really had a name yet.  

Their knack for being ahead of their time ensured that they didn’t get much continued mainstream success in America, but were a big hit overseas.  They were almost always on tour, one brief hiatus notwithstanding, and/or recording, often collaborating with everyone from Giorgio Moroder to Jane Wiedlin to Franz Ferdinand.  Their tendency to experiment with different musical genres is ultimately put to the test when they attempt to play EVERY SINGLE SONG THEY EVER RECORDED IN CONCERT over a period of three weeks.  Who does that?  That’s insane.  That’s Sparks.

The Sparks Brothers is one of Edgar Wright’s best.  Known mostly for his comedies, he proves to have a great documentarian’s eye.  The film is maybe a little on the long side, but then again, there’s a lot to cover.  I guess I can forgive Wright for neglecting the band’s contribution of the title tune to the Get Crazy soundtrack and omitting the fact they provided the score for the Jean-Claude Van Damme flick, Knock Off.  At least their appearance in the cheesy ‘70s disaster flick Rollercoaster is discussed!

THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS (2021) *** ½

I was never the biggest fan of The Matrix, but the original remains a solid sci-fi action flick.  The less said about the first two sequels (especially Reloaded), the better.  Even after being burned by the last couple of Matrix movies, I was curious to see what Lana Wachowski had up her sleeve for this belated continuation of the franchise.  

I won’t go into the detail explaining the plot to you because the characters do a good job of explaining everything already.  Some may gripe about the over-explanation of nearly every crucial detail, but I kinda liked that, mostly because Lana finally had enough of people misinterpreting and/or co-opting her franchise’s iconography.  So, what she had to do is sit down and hold your hand and tell you flat-out, “This is what it’s all about.”  She lays out her intentions in big bold print, and if you walk away still confused, you probably have half a brain to begin with.  

I myself dug the overly meta first act, although I’m sure mileages will vary all over the damn place for many viewers.  You can tell Lana put all her angst and frustrations about the success of the original trilogy on full display.  Is some of it a little on the nose?  Yes.  In fact, much of it is straight UP the nose.  However, I enjoy a movie that wears its heart on its sleeve so unashamedly.  She said in interviews she began working on the script as a coping mechanism after the passing of her parents, and you know, large chunks of the film definitely feel like a form of therapy.  I can’t speak for Lana, but I have to say that she exorcised some demons with this movie all the while simultaneously expressing herself, which is what creating art is all about.   

Like Spider-Man:  No Way Home, its optimism is its strongest suit.  It features characters acting on faith and sacrificing everything for others.  Characters who are facing impossible situations don’t say, “I can’t do this,” they say to themselves, “I haven’t done something like this… yet”.  Touches like that help separate The Matrix Resurrections from most gloomy post-apocalyptic sci-fi cyberpunk flicks.

It’s not all great though.  Like most of the Matrixes, it kind of grinds to a halt once it enters the “real” world.  The scenes of characters riding around in crappy looking spaceships evading tentacle monsters aren’t nearly as much fun as the snazzy Gun Fu shootouts that occur inside the Matrix, but that kind of goes with the territory.  Even then, the action isn’t groundbreaking like it once was.  Then again, it doesn’t need to be.  Resurrections is decidedly less showy than its predecessors, and yet at the same time feels like the most refreshing entry, just for the fact that it dares to speak its mind.  

Sometimes the plot feels a bit rushed and choppy.  In fact, they might’ve had enough footage here for two movies.  It’s hard to say what Lilly could’ve brought to the table had she been involved.  It might’ve resulted in some crisper action, but then again, we might’ve lost some of the wonderfully heartfelt moments and gratuitous exposition scenes that I found so endearing.  

Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss are both quite good.  Even for someone who isn’t the world’s biggest Matrix fan, it was nice seeing them together once again.  I do wish they could’ve gotten Laurence Fishburne and Hugo Weaving back, but while their absences are adequately explained, their replacements are definitely a downgrade.  

Ultimately, The Matrix Resurrections is a love letter to the creator, and I don’t mean God.  I’m talking about artists, filmmakers, designers, etc. who are passionate about the worlds they create for themselves and others.  It’s about stories and why those stories are so important for not only the audience, but for the storyteller as well.  It’s about how the act of storytelling is vital to our very existence, even if you’ve already told that particular story before.

BODY ARMOUR (2007) ** ½

Body Armour is a perfectly acceptable albeit kind of forgettable action drama that boasts a better than average hook.  Til Schweiger stars as a bodyguard who is unable to save the governor when she is assassinated by master criminal Chazz Palminteri.  He spends the next three years sulking before finally agreeing to his next assignment.  It seems his top-secret client is about to blow the whistle on a vast criminal underworld, and Schweiger’s mission is to keep him alive for the next three days so he can testify in court.  Schweiger is inflamed when he eventually learns his mystery client is none other than Palminteri himself.  

The neat hook and the playfulness of Palminteri’s performance sets this apart from other DTV actioners.  The movie is at its best when Palminteri is needling Schweiger and goading him into a confrontation.  While It’s reasonably fun and clever whenever the two leads are at each other’s throats, it’s noticeably less successful once they call a détente and decide to work together.  I could’ve also done without the generic scenes of Schweiger’s cliched burnout character moping around and feeling sorry for himself in the early going.  The stuff involving Palminteri trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter (Cristina Brondo) kind of feels like padding too.

Despite those little hiccups, director Gerry (The Art of War 3) Lively does a decent job for the most part.  The shootouts and fight scenes are competently handled, if a little on the unspectacular side.   On the plus side, the script by Ken Lamplugh and John Weidner (who also wrote C.I.A. Code Name:  Alexa together) is a tad smarter than it needs to be, which helps it overcome the occasional lull.  Whenever Schweiger and Palminteri are bickering, the picture has a certain spark and charm to it.  The rest has enough moments to make it an agreeable action flick for the indiscriminate DTV fan.

TIME WARP: THE GREATEST CULT FILMS OF ALL-TIME: VOL. 3: COMEDY AND CAMP (2020) ***

There really isn’t anything wrong with doing a documentary about cult comedies.  It’s just that it doesn’t have the same allure to it as midnight movies, horror flicks, and schlock favorites.  This third installment in the Time Warp series devotes more time to comedies than it does campy movies, which to me, was a bit of a miscalculation.  

The comedies featured are Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Rock n’ Roll High School, Valley Girl, Napoleon Dynamite, Clerks, Office Space, Best in Show, Kingpin, Super Troopers, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  In the camp… uh… camp is Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Showgirls, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Glen or Glenda, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Female Trouble, Eating Raoul, and The Room.  Honestly, I probably could’ve done with half the amount of comedies.  While I like nearly all the movies featured, they sort of spend too much time on them.  I mean I like Valley Girl and all, but I wouldn’t put it in the same league as Plan 9 or anything as far as a “cult” movie.  Also, you have to wonder why The Big Lebowski was included in the first part of the series if the third volume was going to be mostly all comedies.  

I also kind of take issue with them lumping together “Comedy” and “Camp”.  Yes, Plan 9 is hilarious, but unintentionally so.  It really belonged in the second volume, Horror and Sci-Fi, but I guess they had to pad out the series somehow.  Speaking of padding, this is by far the longest entry in the series (over two hours), and it really could’ve used some trimming.  That said, it’s enjoyable enough, and the variety of interview subjects is once again tip-top.  I still liked it.  It’s just that it’s a definite step down in quality from the other documentaries in the series.