SMASHING THE CRIME SYNDICATE (1970) *

 

FBI agent Mark Adams (John Gabriel) goes undercover to stop a ring of counterfeiters.  Their leader (Kent Taylor) is using the profits from the funny money to fund his Neo-Nazi organization.  Adams teams up with a sexy agent (Vicki Volante) to infiltrate the hate group and bring them down.

The opening credits sequence is done in the James Bond rip-off tradition and features a not-bad faux-Bond tune, as well as some Schoolhouse Rock-style animation.  There’s also a great bit where a jailbait Lolita wannabe (Anne Randall) tries to hop in the sack with Gabriel.  After this surprising bit of risqué tomfoolery, the film quickly turns into the cinematic equivalent of watching paint dry.

When you get bored (and trust me, you will), you can stave off sleep by keeping tabs on the stock company of Al Adamson players as they pop in and out of the narrative.  There’s Scott Brady, Kent Taylor, John Carradine, John “Bud” Cardos, and Greydon Clark, just to name a few.  I also enjoyed seeing The Girl in Gold Boots herself, Leslie McCrea, looking quite fetching as Gabriel’s boss’s eye candy. 

The best part though is the WTF cameo by none other than Colonel Sanders.  It’s easily the most memorable thing about this boring ass movie.  The funniest thing about it is that it occurs during a romantic montage sequence where our hero takes his date to Kentucky Fried Chicken.  I mean Bond at least sprung for some caviar and champagne to get the chicks into bed.  This guy can barely afford an eight-piece original recipe meal. 

As most of Adamson’s early work proves, his crime pictures were easily the weakest of his output.  Smashing the Crime Syndicate is no exception.  Even though it kicks off in the Bond tradition, it quickly pivots into what feels like a very long and cheap TV pilot.  Like a lot of Adamson’s features from this time, it sat on the shelf for a while until the footage could be reworked into another movie.  It was only when Adamson, spurned by the success of his Satan’s Sadists, added a biker subplot, would the film see release, under the title, Hell’s Bloody Devils.

AKA:  Operation M.  AKA:  The Fakers.  AKA:  Nightmare in Blood.  AKA:  Swastika Savages.  AKA:  Hell’s Bloody Devils.

THE SON OF HURRICANE RAMIREZ (1966) ** ½

 

Thieves dressed in Lucha Libre masks hold up an armored car and make off with a lot of pesos.  Since one of the robbers was wearing a Hurricane Ramirez mask, the famed luchador (David Silva) becomes suspect numero uno.  After Hurricane’s arrest, his son (Pepe Romay) takes up the mask in order to continue his father’s legacy (and clear his name). 

This is the third installment in the Hurricane Ramirez series, and it contains some entertaining wrestling sequences.  Since Hurricane’s scrawny kid wears the mask some of the time, a few of the wrestling scenes are more comedic in nature.  One tag team match culminates with Hurricane’s father, Tonino (Tonino Jackson) pinning both of his opponents at the same time.  He also participates in a royal rumble match in which all the participants dress in drag!  Even though the emphasis is on comedy in these scenes, they are still fun to watch.

The best part of the film is the character of “Monjita Negra”, AKA:  “The Black Nun".  Wrapped in a black cloak and sporting a cool zombie mask, The Black Nun puts off an eerie vibe that elevates this entry from being just your typical luchador flick.  He is a total badass, and his match with Hurricane and his son is the definite highlight.  

Unfortunately, you have to sit through a lot of unnecessary scenes set in Hurricane’s pal’s restaurant with his bumbling family waiting on customers and shit.  These types of scenes worked better in The Mystery of Hurricane Ramirez, but here, they just stop the plot on a dime.  The musical numbers in this one are kind of dull too, and lack the fun of the routines found in the previous entry. 

When compared to The Mystery of Hurricane Ramirez, I have to say this one’s highs are higher than its predecessor, but the valleys are much lower.  Still, the wrestling scenes alone are worth it, and The Black Nun is a blast to watch.  He returned for the fifth entry of the series, Hurricane Ramirez vs. The Black Nun. 

Side Note:  The version I saw was a half-assed 3-D conversion.  The picture was slightly tilted so the stuff at the top of the screen leaned out towards the audience.  Since it wasn’t originally filmed that way, nothing really leaps out from the screen.  All we get is a couple of women’s beehive hairdos and a few men’s hat brims that jut and creep out of the frame somewhat.  The opening credits look cool in 3-D though.  All in all, it isn’t great 3-D, but I’ve seen worse 3-D effects in movies that were specifically made to be in 3-D, so make of that what you will. 

BACK FROM THE DEAD (1957) *** ½

 

Mandy (Peggie Castle from Beginning of the End) has been hearing strange voices calling to her along the shoreline.  After a traumatic seizure, her husband Dick (Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man’s Arthur Franz) notices a change in her.  He slowly suspects that the ghost of his dead first wife, Felicia has now possessed Mandy.  It doesn’t take long before the jealous Felicia sets out to make Dick’s life a living Hell.

Back from the Dead was a real surprise.  It’s from 1957, but it deals with some rather shocking subject manner in a matter-of-fact way that gives it a lot of bite.  There’s even a scene where the possessed Mandy murders her pet that is legitimately eerie.  Director Charles Marquis Warren (who directed the classic Elvis western, Charro!) gives the whole film a dark and brooding atmosphere, which lend sequences like these an added chill.  The cool theremin score also helps to increase the tension throughout the picture. 

Thematically, the film is quite similar to Bert I. Gordon’s Tormented, right down to the beachfront setting.  While that film (which came out three years later) had a funhouse ride feel to it, this one is dark and grim.  What’s refreshing about the movie is the fact that Felicia so forcefully takes over Mandy’s body that it quickly evident to everyone around her that Felicia is in fact, back from the dead.  Heck, they even try to accept it and make the best of the situation!  Not only does that cut down on the number of scenes where Franz tries to convince people he’s not crazy, it adds to the overall doom and gloom feel of the picture.

If there’s a flaw, it’s that the third act fails to live up to the film’s early promise.  While it provides a satisfying conclusion, it’s predictable, and lacks the dread and atmosphere found elsewhere in the picture.  Still, there’s more than enough chills to be had in the first hour or so to keep you entertained.

I’ve always enjoyed Franz’s work and felt he should’ve had a bigger career.  This film is proof he had the chops necessary to be a name talent.  The flick really belongs to Castle though as her showstopping performance never fails to captivate you.  Their performances, coupled with Warren’s tight direction, make Back from the Dead a highly effective low budget chiller that’s not to be missed. 

LOOK WHAT’S HAPPENED TO ROSEMARY’S BABY (1976) *

 

Look What’s Happened to Rosemary’s Baby is a Made for TV sequel to the Roman Polanski classic.  You’re pretty much setting yourself up for failure if you’re trying to continue a story that ended on such a perfect note.  That didn’t stop the filmmakers from trying to cash in on the film’s success.  The only returning cast member is Ruth Gordon, who won an Oscar for the original.  Even she is powerless to save this mess.

The film at least has a unique structure as it’s divided into three “Books”.  The first episode, “The Book of Rosemary”, finds Rosemary (a miscast Patty Duke, who nevertheless can scream just like Mia Farrow) trying to unsuccessfully protect her young son Adrian/Andrew from a pack of devil worshippers.  The second chapter is “The Book of Adrian”, which picks things up about a decade or so later with Adrian (Stephen McHattie) being looked after by a former hooker (Gilligan’s Island’s Tina Louise!), and coming to grips with the fact that he might not be the spawn of Satan after all.  Things wind down with “The Book of Andrew” as Andrew is confined to a mental institution while the cult members try to figure out what to do with him. 

McHattie is largely ineffectual as Adrian/Andrew, which makes the final two books something of a chore to sit through.  It’s an intriguing idea to suggest that Adrian is thoroughly mediocre and a disappointment to the devil worshippers who are grooming him to become the Antichrist.  However, McHattie is mostly a blank cypher, which makes the audience just as disappointed as the devil worshippers.  (The scenes where he’s painted up like a mime are particularly dire.) 

At least the supporting cast is kind of goofy.  I mean, as bad as this flick is, I can’t completely hate any movie that features both Tina Louise AND Donna Mills.  We also get Broderick. Crawford (who shows up for like a minute), Ray Milland, and George Maharis in the John Cassavetes role.  Despite the fact that Gordon returns, she’s pretty annoying throughout.

Even though it was directed by Sam O’Steen, the man who edited the original movie, Look What’s Happened to Rosemary’s Baby is sorely lacking energy or life.  The first one was a masterpiece of slow burn horror, but this flick just feels muddled and rushed.  It has too few ideas that are thinly spread out, and none of them really gels together.  The three “books” concept could’ve worked, but the overall effect is rather clunky. 

It’s funny because the ending of the first movie is so iconic.  The ambiguousness of Rosemary and the baby’s future was the scariest part.  Now we know, and frankly, I wished we never found out what happened to Rosemary’s Baby.

AKA:  Rosemary’s Baby 2.

SATAN’S SADISTS (1969) ** ½

Satan’s Sadists is director Al Adamson’s first biker picture, and it’s the first film of his where we really get to see his cinematic obsessions on full display.  It’s full of unpleasant characters, sleazy women, sadistic violence, and an overall anything-goes type of vibe.  As part of the biker subgenre, it’s really no better or worse than your average motorcycle movie.  As part of Adamson’s oeuvre, it’s a rather important milestone. 

Gary Kent (the stuntman/actor who partially inspired Brad Pitt’s character in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) stars as a Marine hitchhiking through the desert.  Scott Brady and his wife (Evelyn Frank) pick him up and give him a lift to Kent Taylor’s diner where a rowdy biker gang led by Russ Tamblyn show up and begin acting out of control.  After the gang kills Brady, his wife, and Taylor, Kent and waitress Jacquline (Angels Revenge) Cole escape on foot into the desert.  Tamblyn and company follow in hot pursuit, seeking to silence the couple for good.

It’s fun seeing Adamson’s stable of actors beginning to grow and branch out.  We have Russ Tamblyn, John “Bud” Cardos, Kent Taylor, Scott Brady, and of course, Adamson’s wife, Regina Carrol (who gets a gratuitous dance scene just because she’s the director’s wife).  As a fan of Adamson’s work, I enjoy seeing all these familiar faces, even if the movie itself kind of twiddled its thumbs in places.

It’s interesting that the gang, despite their murderous ways are quite inclusive.  One biker (Robert Dix) only has one eye, another wears a hearing aid (Greydon Clark, who also wrote the script), and there’s also a Native American (Cardos in redface) in the group.  Naturally, he’s the only one with something approaching a conscience. 

Satan’s Sadists is easily the best film Adamson made up to this point in his career.  It helps that it’s its own thing, and not one of his cut-and-paste efforts.  It’s a wonder what Adamson can do when he’s not trying to cram an entirely different narrative into a completely different movie.  Also, it has a concise beginning, middle, and end, which certainly doesn’t hurt. 

Even though the bikers initiate a gang rape in the opening minutes of the movie, Adamson handles the carnage in a surprisingly tasteful manner.  The glimpses of nudity are fleeting and the shot of the woman’s hand waving wildly in front of the camera is effective.  Adamson does the same for the other assaults in the picture, which makes it feel less exploitative than it could’ve been.

The big problem is that the film pretty much runs out of steam before the climactic showdown between Kent and the bikers.  It also doesn’t help that Tamblyn is a bit miscast as the heavy.  With his cherub face and rose-tinted shades, he resembles Paul Williams’ slightly more statuesque brother.  He’s not really threatening and kind of makes for a weak villain.

Satan’s Sadists was partially filmed at the Spahn Ranch, which adds to the OUATIH connection.  In fact, the ads tastelessly exploited the Tate murders in their advertising, stating, “SEE:  Wild hippies on a mad murder spree!  (It’s frightening as the Sharon Tate killing.)  Filmed on the actual locations where the Tate murder suspects lived their wild experiences!  So true-to-life it’s almost as if the real killers were cast in the motion picture!” 

While it’s hard to fault anyone for taking umbrage with the way the picture was marketed, one thing’s for sure, the final product itself isn’t bad.  It has enough scrappy charm to scrape by with a marginal recommendation.  If anything, it’s worth a look for cinema’s first death-by-toilet scene.

AKA:  Nightmare Bloodbath.  AKA:  Satan’s Cycles.

12 ROUNDS 3: LOCKDOWN (2015) ** ½

 

WWE Studios keeps grinding out DTV sequels to their films, and for some reason, I keep watching them.  This one has nothing to do with the last 12 Rounds movie, which makes sense since that one didn’t have anything to do with the first movie.  Part 3 stars a wrestler named Dean Ambrose, who doesn’t exactly exude Hulk Hogan levels of charisma.  Heck, he makes 12 Rounds 2’s Randy Orton look like an actual thespian in comparison. 

Ambrose stars as a cop who is just coming back to work after his partner was killed under mysterious circumstances.  Naturally, all the cops in the building suspect Ambrose, so they treat him like garbage.  When Ambrose comes into possession of a flash drive belonging to a dirty cop (Roger Cross), it puts a target on his back.  The felonious Five-O puts the police station on lockdown and declares open season on Ambrose.  His trigger-happy cop cronies are only too eager to take Ambrose out.  Severely outmanned and under gunned, our hero must use his wits to survive the night. 

The 12 Rounds series is interesting in that the first two movies were rip-offs of Die Hard with a Vengeance as the hero had to go traipsing through the city diffusing bombs while the bad guy made him jump through all kinds of hoops.  Part 3 is much more like the first Die Hard as it mostly takes place in one claustrophobic location.  It’s almost a flip-flop of the Die Hard franchise formula as the films get smaller as they go along.  In fact, there are no “rounds” the hero has to go through this time out, but the title does make sense because there’s a scene where Ambrose gratuitously says how many bullets are in his gun and… you guessed it… he’s got 12 rounds.

Which brings me to a short digression.  Why do the 12 Rounds movies star wrestlers?  Wouldn’t it make more sense if they starred boxers?  I mean it’s called “12 ROUNDS” and not “BEST TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS”.  Anyway…

Because of its smaller scale, inventive death scenes, and tight pacing, 12 Rounds 3 is easily the best one in the series.  I can’t quite call it “good”, but it certainly got the job done.  While there are a few too many unnecessary zooms during the shootouts, we do get a surprising exploding body scene, a funny Home Alone-inspired gag, and a genuinely great moment involving a taser gun.  Plus, I admire any Die Hard clone that shows restraint when it comes to the obligatory ventilation shaft scene.  I also enjoyed the fact that the hero can’t shoot straight to save his life, which at the very least is memorable. 

Sure, casual viewers will probably give it a pass, but indiscriminate fans of WWE Studios’ fare are apt to enjoy it.  If only the lead had gone to a wrestler (or boxer) with some actual screen presence, it might’ve even approached *** territory. 

As an added bonus, there’s a completely gratuitous nude scene early on that helps to spice things up.  This sequence also ups the WWE quotient as the rapper on the soundtrack namedrops “Ric Flair” in his song.  Of course, by doing so, it only makes you wish The Nature Boy was in the movie instead of the bland Ambrose.

BLOOD OF DRACULA’S CASTLE (1969) **

 

 

Blood of Dracula’s Castle marks the first out-and-out horror film directed by Al Adamson.  While it leaves a lot to be desired, it’s certainly his best movie up to that point in his career.  He was still finding his voice as an auteur, but even though there are some slow and sluggish passages, a few Adamson flourishes manage to eke out of the tedium.

The film was a collaboration between Adamson and writer/producer Rex Carlton.  I had high hopes for this one seeing as Carlton was the man responsible for one of my favorite ‘60s horror flicks, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.  However, the movie is rather tame compared to that one and the pokey pacing doesn’t do it any favors either.

A photographer (Gene O’Shane) receives a telegram that he’s just inherited a castle.  He and his girlfriend (Barbara Bishop) go to check it out and learn that an older couple (Paula Raymond and Horrors of Spider Island’s Alex D’Arcy) are living on the grounds.  Turns out, they are a couple of vampires who keep young women chained in their basement and use their blood to keep them eternal. 

There’s a kernel of a solid story somewhere around here.  It’s a shame that the overabundance of padding more or less prevents it from really taking off.  The opening credits sequence, in which a woman is stalked by the hunchback, goes on seemingly forever.  (I did like the toe-tapping ditty, “The Next Train Out” that plays over this scene though.)  This is almost immediately followed up by a long scene where O’Shane takes lots of pictures of his fiancée at the Marineland amusement park which is padded with footage of dolphins and walruses and shit. 

The plot is also a bit overstuffed.  If it was nothing but the couple investigating their new home and discovering monsters a la Scooby-Doo, it wouldn’t have been so bad.  When you tack on shit like cults, deranged hunchbacks, and human sacrifices, it kind of clutters up the narrative.  The most egregious subplot involves the vampires’ familiar.  The long scene of his escape from prison and subsequent crime spree stops the movie on a dime and could’ve easily been excised without anyone really missing it.  This sequence is further proof that crime pictures really aren’t Adamson’s forte.

It’s funny that the film feels so padded when there’s another version (titled Dracula's Castle) that includes even more material to beef up the running time for TV showings and video releases (it adds about seven minutes of new material in all).  This one features a subplot in which one of the characters becomes a werewolf (it looks like a Don Post mask) that doesn’t really do much for the overall story, but it does add at least one more monster into the mix.  There’s also a repetitive synthesizer score that plays during these scenes.  Throughout his career, Adamson would add new footage to other films (including his own) so they could be repackaged under another title.  This is the first time though another director (in this case, David Huelette) added new footage to one of Adamson’s films.  (Theatrically, it was released by Crown International who put it on a double bill with Nightmare in Wax.)

Despite the sluggish pace and jumbled narrative, there are some bright spots.  The finale is strong and it contains at least one impressive fire stunt.  I also enjoyed the rapport between D’Arcy and his wife.  Their scenes have a half-assed Addams Family vibe to them, and while they don’t get a lot to work with, they make the most of their screen time.  I only wish the FX budget was bigger to make their crumbling-to-dust death scenes worth a damn. 

AKA:  Dracula’s Caste.  AKA:  Castle of Dracula.

 

I reviewed this back in the day (about 2005 or thereabouts) for my old fanzine, The Video Vacuum, which eventually grew into this website.  In those days, due to space constraints, I wrote capsule reviews.  Even though the review was short and sweet, it looks like I didn’t have much to say about it back then.

BLOOD OF DRACULA’S CASTLE  (1967)  **

When the director of Dracula vs. Frankenstein and the producer of The Brain That Wouldn’t Die get together to make a movie, this is what you get.  A photographer and his model fiancée inherit an old castle that happens to be inhabited by Dracula, his wife, a butler, and a disfigured hunchback.  They chain up virgins in the cellar, drain their blood and sacrifice them to the moon god Luna.  With John Carradine as the butler and Alex (Horrors of Spider Island) D’Arcy as Dracula.  The excellent cinematography by Lazlo Kovacs can’t save this tame and slow flick.