Jay Schlossberg-Cohen
and Philip Yordan previously worked together on the insane horror anthology film
Night Train to Terror. Seeing their
names in the credits made me hopeful that Cry Wilderness would deliver the same
kind of jaw-dropping thrills that movie had.
Well, my jaw dropped several times throughout, but mostly because of how
awful it was.
A little boy tells his teacher he’s close friends with Bigfoot. Naturally, he gets in trouble for telling
lies. One night, Bigfoot comes to him in
a dream (?) and tells him he needs to save his father. The kid runs away from school to save his
pops, who is busy tracking a mysterious creature in the woods. Could the monster be his son’s imaginary
friend?
Cry Wilderness is
like an insane mash-up of E.T. and Harry and the Hendersons. Like E.T., there’s even some gratuitous
product placement, courtesy of the subplot where Bigfoot drinks Coke and
crushes the cans “unlike any human could”.
Unfortunately, the film is closer in quality to Pod People than E.T.
We also have to wait
a long time before we finally do get to the Bigfoot stuff. When we do, it’s ruined by a truly terrible
costume. To make matters worse, it looks
like it’s falling apart half the time.
Most of the movie is
heavily padded with a lot of boring nature footage. The acting is also amateurish and often times
painful to watch. The less said about
the ridiculous and stupid ending, the better.
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