Tuesday, January 23, 2018

KINDERGARTEN COP 2 (2016) ***


26 years later, along comes a sequel to Kindergarten Cop that no one asked for.  Having Dolph Lundgren as the star was a nice touch though.  I mean if you can’t get Arnold, you might as well grab the first nearest Expendable you can get your hands on.

Dolph plays a Fed who arrests a big time Russian mobster.  One year later, there is a data breach at the Witness Protection Program’s computer system.  Dolph goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher at a fancy prep academy to find a flash drive that contains the names of people in the Witness Protection Program before the mobster can get his hands on it.

Dolph is pretty funny in this.  There’s a scene where he’s having a bad day and the candy machine won’t give him a candy bar, so he pulls his gun on it.  Later, he body slams the machine onto a bad guy and the candy bar finally falls out.  Bill Bellamy is Dolph’s wisecracking partner who seems to be doing a Martin Lawrence impersonation the whole movie.  They have good chemistry together and I hope they get paired up again real soon.

If you’ve been in a classroom setting lately, you’ll enjoy how Kindergarten Cop 2 sends up the ultra-P.C. atmosphere of the modern-day school system.  The expression on Dolph’s face when he realizes he can’t say “sit Indian Style” anymore is priceless.  (There’s also an announcement that the school is taking the word “Holiday” out of their “Holiday Play” as to not offend the agnostic students.)  There are also some funny jabs at the expense of the spoiled, pampered rich kids.  The scene where Dolph eats a peanut butter sandwich in a “peanut-free zone” is good for a laugh as are the jokes about kids who need to eat gluten-free diets.  

Maybe it’s because I went in with low expectations, I found Kindergarten Cop 2 to be pretty damned funny.  I laughed about ten times as much as I expected.  It’s definitely a worthy sequel to the original and is easily the best Dolph Lundgren in a School movie since Detention.

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