INVASION OF THE GIRL SNATCHERS (1973) ***

The IMDB plot synopsis of Invasion of the Girl Snatchers is enough to get you curious.  It calls it a “1970s spoof of American New Wave films featuring a criminal couple on the run encountering a UFO cult.”  That doesn’t even scratch the surface of the weirdness to come.  (Although I honestly saw little, if any evidence of a New Wave influence.)  The fact that it manages to combine elements of Easy Rider and Mission:  Impossible in the opening scenes is enough to make you sit up and take notice.

Kaspar (Ele Grisby), a junior agent of a secret government agency and his superior, Trowel (Hugh Smith) are on the trail of some girl nappers.  As it turns out, they’re working for Aph (Charles Rubin), the leader of a cult of alien beings.  Aph wants to put alien consciousnesses from his home planet into the brainwashed girls and make them do his bidding.  Once Trowel gets turned into an alien zombie, it’s up to Kaspar to save the day. 

They say they don’t make them like they used to, but I’m not sure if anyone made them like Lee Jones did.  Since this is his only directing credit, we may never know for certain.  All I know is that Invasion of the Girl Snatchers is one of the weirder low-budget ‘70s movies I’ve seen in some time.  That friends, is praise of the highest order.  If you think you’ve seen it all, folks… trust me.  You haven’t.  

The movie really belongs to Carla Rueckert, who co-wrote the script and stars as one of the brainwashed girls, Ruthie.  She spends much of the movie walking around topless while wearing dark sunglasses and rubbing people who suffer from cramps.  Naturally, when Kaspar gets a boner, she mistakes it for a cramp and helps him rub one out.  I also loved the part where she is bound and gagged and uses her boob to knock the phone off the cradle to dial for help.

It’s almost a guarantee that Rubin’s character will get on your nerves.  Most of the time, he just stands around wearing a robe and reciting incantation after irritating incantation.  If you can make it through these long, dull scenes, you’ll be treated to some memorably weird stuff that runs the gamut of just plain odd to downright awesome.  I mean how many movies have you seen that feature a bra equipped with a homing beacon AND a girl possessed by an alien who drinks nitroglycerin like it was cheap whiskey?

Smith gets the best line of the movie when he says, “Great gobs of baby owl shit!”

AKA:  The Hidan of Maukbeiangjow.