RAW TALENT (1984) ***

Raw Talent begins with a warning that states the film contains “Subliminal Suggestions”.  Turns out there are flashes of the word “Masturbate” during one of the sex scenes.  If that doesn’t tip you off this is going to be special, the opening scene will.

Jerry Butler is a struggling actor working in a diner.  An old bitchy customer comes in ten minutes before closing time wanting a turkey sandwich.  After belittling Jerry, he goes in the back, whips out his dick, and fucks the roasted turkey until he cums in her sandwich.  

Yes, this movie is as awesome as it sounds.

Jerry learns his co-worker (Joey Silvera) is a porn star and decides to visit the set.  The icy director (the great Lisa DeLeeuw) constantly berates Silvera as he tries to fuck on film.  There’s a hilarious bit when Joey goes down on an actress and accidentally drops his gum on her pubic hair.  It gets stuck in her pubes, and the make-up lady has to cut it out with scissors (and shave her).  When Joey experiences premature ejaculation, Jerry takes over and proves he’s got the stuff to be a star.  

Later, at a party, he bangs DeLeeuw, but she doesn’t want him to cum on her.  She tells him to cum on the plant, which of course, turns out to be a cactus and he winds up injuring himself.  (“I pricked my prick!”)

Did I mention this movie is awesome?

This is followed by a scene where Butler gets attacked by muggers and he fights them off using his Kung Fu moves.  The fight is so exaggerated and over the top that at first, you may think it’s part of a scene he’s filming for a movie.  Nope, it’s just part of his everyday life.  Incredible.  

Jerry eventually finds work on a soap opera.  When it comes out he’s an ex-porn star, he gets fired.  He learns DeLeeuw told the press about his porno past and ruined career, and he gets his revenge by shoving her face in the bidet and sodomizing her.  

The story jumps around a lot in the third act.  It’s here where Jerry goes to jail and gets released in the span of a jump cut.  He also gets a girlfriend in the same amount of time.  When he catches her fucking Ron Jeremy, it leads to an all-out Kung Fu battle between Jeremy and Butler!  Clearly modeled on Enter the Dragon, with Butler “WAAAAHing” and “WOOOOing” like Bruce Lee, the choreography is surprisingly competent, and the two stars give it their all.  In the end, Butler has to fight another actor (literally) for a coveted role.  

It’s not perfect, but Raw Talent is one of those ‘80s pornos that is justifiably legendary.  Don’t be dismayed that I basically told you all the highlights, because trust me, that won’t do it justice.  You’ve got to see this thing to believe it.  Even then, I can’t guarantee you’ll believe your eyes.

DeLeeuw gets the best line of the movie when she tells Silvera:  “Pussies are like English Muffins.  You got to spread them to get to all those nooks and crannies!”