Monday, April 29, 2019

SCHOOLGIRL REPORT 4: WHAT DRIVES PARENTS TO DESPAIR (1973) ***


If you’ve never seen any of the Schoolgirl Report flicks, they were a series of German sexploitation movies that featured sexy schoolgirls doing all sorts of naughty things.  Filmed under the guise of a pseudo-documentary, they present several vignettes revolving around the sexual escapades of insatiable teenage girls.  I’m happy to report (heh) that this is one of the better entries in the franchise.  

The first tale revolves around a sexpot student named Elfie (Karin Gotz) who needs a passing grade in math to graduate.  She makes her teacher an indecent proposal:  A roll in the hay for a C on the big test.  After a lot of hemming and hawing, he finally caves in.  This segment is predictable, but it still works.  I’m sure the filmmakers could’ve built up the sexual tension a bit more, although you can’t blame the teacher for giving into temptation.  

The second story finds an old pervert pretending to be a physician so he can give schoolgirls examinations.  Like the first story, it’s relatively straightforward and obvious.  Despite that, it still manages to work up a fair amount of steam.  (Like when the doctor takes his patient’s “temperature”.)

The next story finds an African-American student having trouble fitting in at school where she is subject to exclusion and racist taunts.  When she is invited to a party, she thinks her classmates are finally reaching out to her, but it’s nothing more than an ambush to degrade and humiliate her.  This story has a nice set-up, and makes an earnest stab at moralizing, although it feels out of step with the other, more lighthearted tales.  

A group of friends pitch in and help a student who’s wrecked his car in the next tale.  To get the money needed for the repairs, the girls decide to prostitute themselves out for cash.  Although the set-up is breezy and fun (I especially liked the scenes with the overweight girl who wants to get some “action”), it sort of fizzles out in the end without much of a resolution.  

A gaggle of giggling girls notice an Italian goofball ogling them in the park.  They then decide to tease him by constantly undressing and sexually provoking him.  The joke’s on them though when they find out the hard way (pun intended) that he’s a sexual dynamo.  This sequence has a few laughs (the part where he sticks his dick in a fountain to cool off is funny) and features plenty of nudity, making it one of the most fun segments in the entire picture.  

Christina (Thriller:  A Cruel Picture) Lindberg stars in the next story as Barbara, a young girl, who has a crush on her brother Wolfgang (Gunther Mohner).  Since they share the same room together, Barbara sees her brother naked often, which helps fuel her desire.  Before long, the sex-starved Barbara makes her feelings known to her sibling.  Fans of Lindberg are in for a real treat with this sleazy, steamy segment.  She’s especially hot in the scenes where she masturbates while watching her brother banging babes.  We also get a random-ass dream sequence where she watches a nun shot by a firing squad!?!  

The final tale is about a virgin who won’t put out for her horny boyfriend.  Eventually, she relents and allows him to have his way with her.  This story is one of the weaker ones in the bunch.  It’s pretty standard issue stuff, but there’s still enough nudity to make it watchable.  

This is the best film I’ve seen so far in the Schoolgirl Report series.  It has a nice balance of carefree sexual escapades, legitimately funny humor, and even addresses some (still timely) social issues.  Don’t let that fool you though because there’s still scads of nudity here to make good on its exploitative promises.  

In short, this Schoolgirl Report makes the grade.

AKA:  Barely Innocent.  AKA:  Campus Swingers.  AKA:  Sex Education.  

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