NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1990) *

Since George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead quickly fell into the public domain after its initial release, he didn’t see a dime from its massive success.  Twenty-two years later, he finally cashed in with this terrible remake that is just as bad if not worse than many of the zombie films that were inspired by the original.  The plot is more or less the same.  The dead rise from the grave and eat the living.  A band of survivors hole up at an old farmhouse and try to make it through the night, if they can stop their endless bickering that is.  

You would think that with a script by Romero and his usual special effects maestro Tom Savani at the helm, this remake would’ve worked like gangbusters.  As it turns out, it’s a soulless bore that looks and feels like it was churned out for a quick buck.  Savani’s direction is flat and straightforward, which would be fine if he delivered on the gore.  You’d think a man who made his living on devising increasingly gruesome and gory ways to off someone would’ve loaded their directorial debut to the gills with gore.  That might’ve been the case, but since the MPAA cut it to ribbons, we’ll never know.  Nary a gut is munched, which is a goddamned shame.  To make matters worse, this Night features some rather terrible effects, with some of the most obviously phony prop heads in screen history.  How did a special effects guru like Savani let something like this slip?

As much as I think Savani dropped the ball here, I have to say Romero should shoulder much of the blame.  His original script (co-written by John Russo) was ripe with political commentary, anger, and a wicked streak a mile long.  This one is as lifeless and shambling as the zombies.  What’s worse is that the ending has been drastically changed, or as I like to say, COMPLETELY RUINED.  When you remove any kind of political subtext from Night of the Living Dead, what you’re left with is just another forgettable zombie flick. 

Romero also throws all subtlety out the window.  Barbara’s final line could’ve easily gone unsaid, and the audience would’ve gotten the message loud and clear.  Romero, however, hammers it home like so many nails in the boarded-up farmhouse in the movie.  Also, the scene where Ben screams, “This is Hell on Earth!” and Savani cuts to flames flickering in the fireplace offers one of the film’s few unintentional laughs.  The occasional chortle here and there saves it from being a complete disgrace, but the lack of scares, gore, and/or subtext makes this Night feel more like an exercise in futility.   

It doesn’t help that ALL the characters are completely unlikeable.  I know Harry is supposed to be a jerk, but you even have a hard time rooting for Ben in this one as he hollers and bitches about shit nearly as much.  Also, Barbara’s transformation from callow crybaby to a gun-toting coldblooded killer is almost laughable.  I know Romero was trying to make up for having Barbara being so wishy-washy in the original but having her abruptly turn into a Ripley clone halfway through is just ridiculous.   

In short, shoot this one in the head.