Tuesday, December 21, 2021

SELF SERVICE GIRLS (1975) ** ½

German softcore grandmaster Erwin C. Dietrich wrote and directed this sexy anthology skin flick.  The wraparound sequences (**) involve a pervert dropping pennies in a porno viewer and watching assorted smut.  It’s a thin, but serviceable framework for this sort of thing, I guess.  The segments themselves are about ten minutes long each, and the best ones are weighted towards the beginning.  

The first segment (*** ½) revolves around a flirty babe (Rita Waldenberg) playing duckpin bowling.  When she excuses herself to “wash her hands”, she strips down to nothing and waits for the male bowlers to sneak into the bathroom to fuck her.  This sequence is fun and steamy, and benefits from a sexy performance by Waldenberg, even if the climax is a bit of a… ahem… wash.  

Sequence two (*** ½) has a hot nurse (Christa Free) assisting a doctor performing a circumcision.  She then takes it upon herself to make sure the patient’s dick still works after the operation and fucks him.  This story has some hilarious dubbing (“How you doing, lamb chop?”), and a sexy performance by Free as the horny nurse.  

A sexy sculptress (Marianne Dupont) picks up a dude with a big dick in a coed sauna in the next segment (*** ½).  She then takes him back to her studio and fucks him.  Like the last story, it benefits from a hot performance by the leading lady, and some wonderfully cheesy dialogue, which only adds to the fun.  

The fourth tale (**) involves a horny passenger who bangs a sexy stewardess (Claudia Fielers) in an airplane bathroom during a flight.  This story is the most basic of the bunch as it’s got a lame set-up and a ho-hum payoff.    While it continues the theme of sex in a public bathroom from the first segment, it’s nowhere near as hot or fun.  

The fifth story (** ½) is about a guy who watches vintage porno cartoons before spying on his hot to trot neighbor (Esther Studer) as she masturbates.  Your enjoyment of this sequence may hinge on your tolerance for all the old-timey adults-only animation.  I have to be honest when I say, it didn’t do a whole lot for me.  I guess if you ever wanted to see a cartoon where a guy goes to a gloryhole and gets pleasured by a cow, here you go.  At least the flesh-and-blood stuff features some graphic close-ups of Studer playing with herself.  There’s also a brief vintage hardcore segment where Santa Claus hooks a woman up to a fuck machine.

After that, it’s time for the sixth segment (**).  A musician practices his violin, and his hot neighbor (Monika Rohde) gets so turned on by his playing that she has to play with herself.  This one, like the stewardess story is all set-up and little payoff and suffers from déjà vu from the previous segment of horny neighbors masturbating.

The final story (**) is yet another tale of horny neighbors.  This time out, a guy can’t get any sleep because the couple next door keep fucking all night long.  He sets out to get revenge on them, but naturally, it backfires.  This one would’ve been okay if it didn’t go on so long and wasn’t the third one in a row about horny neighbors.  It’s not bad, but it doesn’t exactly end the movie with a bang, so to speak.  

AKA:  Tempting Roommates.

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