Director Larry (All Women are Bad) Crane’s Beware the Black Widow very much feels like a throwback. It has the overall vibe of an old radio show, the constant organ music could’ve come out of a silent film, and the title character would look right at home in an Old Dark House mystery. In fact, it would look like a Monogram movie from the ‘30s had it not been for all the nudity. That hodgepodge of influences helps make it memorable, even if the film isn’t exactly successful.
A call girl witnesses a figure in a black veil murder someone in an alley. Later, a newspaper reporter sees the figure in black kill another person. The connection is that both victims worked for a crime boss who runs the city. He soon takes it upon himself to find the killer.
Beware the Black Widow is goofy fun for a while, but the pacing hits a serious snag about halfway through. It’s here where we get a long-winded flashback to “The Old Country” that explains the Black Widow’s motives. The movie might’ve survived one of these flashbacks. However, in the very next scene it gets played out again from another person’s point of view. It’s totally unnecessary and only serves to pad out the running time. I mean, Rashomon it is not.
Sharon (Indecent Desires) Kent gives the best performance in the film as a dancer with a dark secret. She looks fantastic and performs several stripteases, which are the main reason to watch it. The most memorable character though is the guy who looks like a cross between Elvis Presley and the Phantom of the Opera. Too bad he doesn’t get a lot of screen time.
Amazingly enough, Crane sang the awesome theme song that sounds like an Irish drinking song on acid. The soundtrack is full of bangers too, including “I Want a Doll for Christmas” (which accompanies a high energy striptease). These ditties add to the nutty atmosphere, but they can’t salvage what is ultimately an uneven experience.
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