Hard ‘n Heavy Babes 1991 Video Calendar was a companion tape to the Hard ‘n Heavy series of heavy metal and hard rock VHS compilation tapes. There are twelve models (one per month) who are interviewed while posing in swimsuits and/or revealing outfits. Some of the activities they participate in include waking on the beach, relaxing in hot tubs, doing Kung Fu, and waterskiing. The interview segments are more in-depth than you might expect. Of course, there’s the typical “what’s your ideal man” kind of chit-chat, but we get to learn what makes some of these girls tick in a relatively short amount of time. Other models are into motorcycle racing, Rock ‘n Roll, riding horses, fishing, and shooting guns. Unfortunately, the ratio of “getting to know you” stuff and the modeling scenes is about 50/50, which is kind of bad news if you just want some gratuitous bikini footage.
Most of the modeling segments are backed by bland “Monster Ballad” style of rock songs. Because of that, the whole “Hard ‘n Heavy” title is a bit of a misnomer. It really should’ve been called “Softcore and Lightweight”. I’m not only speaking from the music standpoint, but from the modeling stuff as this is more of a bikini and cheesecake tape than anything else. While shots of models rubbing suntan lotion on themselves and skinny dipping are kind of sexy, nothing is shown. (Unless you count the one segment that features a model doing yoga in a see-thru wet T-shirt.)
So, if you’re hoping for something along the line of a Playboy video, you’re probably going to be disappointed. However, if you enjoy bikini babe calendar videos like this, you’ll probably dig it. The best segment is with Miss October, former Penthouse Pet of the Year, Shelia Kennedy. She also gets the best line in the entire tape: “I’m an extremely oral person!”
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