LET’S GET PHYSICAL: EMANUELLE’S PERVERSE OUTBURST (1983) * ½

“E-‘MAY’-NUELLE”

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

If you come down with an overly powerful feeling of déjà vu while watching Emanuelle’s Perverse Outburst, don’t worry, it’s not you.  Ever the thrifty economical hackmeister, director Joe D’Amato took a bunch of scenes from previous Black Emanuelle movies starring Laura Gemser, re-edited the footage, redubbed the dialogue, and turned it into a “new movie”.  Most of the footage comes from Emanuelle and the White Slave Trade, Black Cobra, and Porno Esotic Love.  Honestly, you’re better off watching any of those other flicks in their entirety instead of sitting through this cobbled-together mess. 

At least D’Amato was smart enough to toss in some hardcore footage so we wouldn’t get too bored.  Sometimes though, the quality of the film stock drops depending on what movie Joe is culling from.  It all makes for a very slapdash affair.

The plot, such as it is, is basically a rehashing of Emanuelle and the White Slave Trade as Emanuelle goes on assignment to infiltrate a shady organization ran by Gabriele Tinti.  Since Tinti was in so many Emanuelle movies alongside his wife, Gemser, that means he can show up in scenes from several different films and still be passed off as the same “character”.  Later, she gets tangled up with some double agents who are trying to get their hands on some microfilm.  Not that the plot matters in a paste-up job like this, but it’s frustrating to watch a movie in which nothing really happens and the whole thing just sort of ends… even if it does feature scads of nudity.   Oh, and the new soundtrack is ill-fitting and sometimes borderline racist (I’m thinking specifically of the Hong Kong scenes). 

One thing is for certain:  Emanuelle’s Perverse Outburst is a great title.  If only the film could live up to it.  I have a feeling D’Amato came up with the title, realized he couldn’t get Gemser to make another movie with him, and then just reassembled old footage and sold it under the admittedly awesome title.  If you’re unfamiliar with the series, this might be an OK primer, even if it often feels like it was edited with a chainsaw and tree sap.  Die-hard fans of the series might watch it just as an excuse to see Gemser naked again.  Still, even as repackaged clip shows go, it comes up short. 

And despite the title, Emanuelle never does have a perverse outburst, so I have to subtract a Half-Star off for that. 

AKA:  Unleashed Perversions of Emanuelle.  AKA:  Manuela.  

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: BLACK VELVET (1976) ½ *

“E-‘MAY’-NUELLE”

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on March 1st, 2008 under the title Black Emanuelle, White Emanuelle)

BLACK EMANUELLE, WHITE EMANUELLE (1976) ½ * - The Video Vacuum — LiveJournal

(Note:  This review was originally considered too saucy for Blogger, so I'm just posting a link to my original review from my LiveJournal days.)

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: BLACK COBRA (1976) ***

“E-‘MAY’-NUELLE”

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY 

Laura Gemser stars as Eva, a dancer who goes to Hong Kong to perform a sexy snake dance.  There, she meets a pair of brothers named Jules (Gabriele Tinti) and Judas (Jack Palance) who become smitten with her.  Judas is a rich, eccentric snake collector who’s better with snakes than he is with people.  He soon becomes obsessed with Eva and longs to possess her.  Soon, he makes her his kept woman, but problems arise when she falls in love with another woman. 

Hey, wait a second.  Gemer’s character is named Eva, which is a form of “Eve”.  She has a snake.  Palance’s character is named Judas.  Tinti’s character’s initials are “J.C.”.  So, if you can’t already tell, it’s all very Biblical.  I can’t remember if the part where a guy gets a snake shoved up his ass is in the Bible or not though.  Maybe. 

Black Cobra is another concoction from Joe D’Amato and Bruno Mattei, and it’s a little different than their usual fare.  It’s fast-moving, well-acted, and slightly classier than their typical output (only slightly).  It’s especially fun seeing Palance slumming in something like this.  He gets a great scene where he takes Gemser to his home and frightens her with his snake collection.  I mean, we’ve all been there before.  Right, guys?  We bring a hot date home, and she runs for the hills as soon as you show her your snake. 

D’Amato gives Gemser plenty of opportunities to strip down, dance with her snake, receive full body massages, and take showers.  Even though it’s not part of the “official” Black Emanuelle series (which is already unofficial to begin with), there is a scene set in a lesbian only club that’s just like Porno Nights of the World, and the part where Tinti uses a snake as a marital aid is kind of like Emanuelle Around the World. 

I’m not sure if the presence of a star like Palance put D’Amato on his best behavior or what, but he equips himself nicely when he’s trying to turn out a more “legitimate” product.  Don’t let words like “classy” and “legitimate” fool you.  This is still chockfull of nudity and even some scenes of animal cruelty.  (A mouse is eaten by a snake and a snake is skinned alive and eaten.)  However, the film is more psychological than exploitative,  and is easily one of the best in the “unofficial” Black Emanuelle series. 

AKA:  Black Cobra Woman.  AKA:  Erotic Eva.  AKA:  Hot Pants.  AKA:  Emanuelle and the Deadly Black Cobra.  AKA:  Emanuelle Goes Japanese.  

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE (1982) ***

“E-‘MAY’-NUELLE”

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on July 17th, 2007)

This is one of the sickest women in prison movies EVER! It was directed, under a pseudonym by Italian schlockmeister Bruno Mattei and stars Laura Gemser as Emanuelle. (It was released in Italy as an Emanuelle movie.)

During the opening credits, Emanuelle stars in an artsy fartsy prison play and promptly gets a tomato thrown in her face, inciting a riot. The next day at lunch, the main bitchy prisoner, Albina challenges Emanuelle to an arm wrestling match, then later tries to beat her up in the bathroom and Emanuelle rips off Alibina’s wig and beats her with it! Meanwhile a gang of male prisoners led by Crazy Boy (Gemser’s real life husband Gabrielle Tinti) are transferred to the women’s prison. They get loose, take the warden hostage, and hole up in a cell block. The gang revels in torturing, killing and raping the female inmates. One guy, Blade uses a razor to cut the girls up. In one of the most sickest acts of revenge ever witnessed on celluloid, the girl takes his razor, puts it in a cork and sticks it up her coochie with the razor facing outward. Then she seduces Blade and when he rapes her… UGH! You won’t even notice the lackluster prison break finale, cuz you’ll still be cringing from the penis slicing scene.

This was sort of a sequel to Mattei’s Violence in a Women’s Prison. Gemser somehow manages to keep her clothes on for this one, but the sheer amount of sleaze, bad dubbing, and hateful dialogue (“I’ll bite your nipples off! And I’ll do it too”!) more than makes up for it.

AKA: Emanuelle Escapes Hell. AKA: Blade Violent.

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: VIOLENCE IN A WOMEN’S PRISON (1982) ** ½

“E-‘MAY’-NUELLE”

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on July 17th, 2007)

Laura Gemser once again plays Emanuelle, fearless reporter and tireless fornicator. This time, she checks herself into a hellhole prison (is there any other kind?) to expose the corrupt warden who cruelly violates her prisoners and makes them participate in her lewd voyeuristic sex acts. The standout scene is when Emanuelle is sent to solitary confinement and is attacked by an army of mealy ass rats. There’s also a pretty good scene where she throws a bucket of poo on some guards too.

Too bad director Bruno (Night of the Zombies) Mattei doesn’t push the envelope a bit farther. He gives us some lesbian scenes and a dash of sadism, but there are countless other women in prison flicks out there that would gladly give us higher sleaze content for our money. I mean what can you say about a women in prison movie that doesn’t have ONE shower scene? Mattei and Gemser returned the next year with the much better Women’s Prison Massacre.

AKA: Chicks in Chains. AKA: Emanuelle Reports from a Women’s Prison. AKA: Emanuelle in Hell. AKA: Women’s Penitentiary 4.

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: EMANUELLE AND THE WHITE SLAVE TRADE (1978) ***

“E-‘MAY’-NUELLE”

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on February 28th, 2008)

Laura Gemser returns as Emanuelle in the fifth and final installment of the series from Italian sleaze guru Joe D’Amato.  This time out, Emanuelle takes on the white slave trade but BEFORE she does that, she masturbates while she watches her friend fuck a black mechanic, goes on an African safari, has a lesbian tryst in the shower, balls a wealthy prince, smokes a hookah in India, has a threeway, watches a nude photo shoot in New York and makes love in a darkroom.  THEN she decides to do an expose about white slavers.

 

When she tries to escape (with the help of a friendly transvestite) she gets captured and nearly gets lobotomized by the evil doctors at “The Clinic”.  Fortunately, she escapes in a laundry basket, hops aboard a ship home and balls the crew to pay for her voyage. 

 

With Emanuelle and the White Slave Trade, D’Amato delivers a rather tame entry in the durable series.  I’ll admit that watching Emanuelle in America probably jaded me (Who could forget the immortal horse masturbation scene?), but EATWST has a feeling of been-there-done-that (D’Amato even takes to recycling whole scenes from Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals) that knocks things down a notch or two.  Having said that, D’Amato does film THE definite transvestite Kung Fu fight in a bowling alley scene in the history of the cinema, so that’s worth something at least.

 

Although it takes Emanuelle FOREVER to get to the damn slavers, once she does things start to perk up considerably.  (Like my penis.)  Despite the relatively low sleaze quotient in this one, Gemser looks amazing as always and there is plenty of female flesh on display to make any fan of the series happy.  Gemser’s husband and frequent co-star in these movies, Gabriele Tinti has a small role as a slaver.  There’s also a great stream of consciousness theme song called “Run Cheetah Run” that has to be heard to be believed.  Here’s just a sample: 

 

Run cheetah run on the prairie, Shamu rapid cheetah is here.  

 

You feel his breath on your back; your heart is breaking, his clothes lapse.

 

His clothes LAPSE?!?  I’m sure something got lost in the translation there, but “Run Cheetah Run” is a hilarious oddity that will probably stay in your head longer than anything else in the movie. 

 

AKA:  Emanuelle and the Girls of Madame Claude. 

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: SISTER EMANUELLE (1977) ** ½

“E-‘MAY’-NUELLE”

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on September 20th, 2007)

The sex starved Emanuelle (Laura Gemser) is back in the habit literally this time, renouncing her sinful ways and becoming a nun! Say it isn’t so! The story has Emanuelle and a wrinkled up old nun transporting a teenage trollop named Monica (Monica Zanchi) to a remote convent where they hope to instill her with the word of God. Monica will not be so easily converted though, and she quickly starts seducing people left and right, starting with her bookworm roommate. When a wanted criminal (Gabriele Tinti, Gemser’s real life husband and frequent co-star) hides out in the convent, Monica wastes no time hopping in the sack with him. Together, he and Monica conspire to set Emanuelle’s cooled loins afire.

There’s a lot of sexual tension between Zanchi and Gemser, but it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that Emanuelle’s gonna end up turning into a slut again. While the sex scenes are plentiful, there’s really little variation between them or the actors (most of them are lesbian scenes involving Zanchi) and lack the flair (and sleaze) of previous installments. And although the film is stylish and features a lot of Zanchi in various states of undress, it’s also very episodic and sluggishly paced. It also loses points for tossing out one of those annoying “it was all a dream” endings too.

Emanuelle fans will be disappointed to learn that since Gemser spends most the movie in a nun’s habit (it takes about a half hour for her to finally show a little skin and well over an hour to get a little something-something) it leaves little time for her to get naked, but I suppose it’s worth it because she’s so damn hot. Even though she spends most the movie as a spectator and not a participant, Gemser is still radiant as always. Zanchi is also very hot and usually ends up getting naked in nearly every scene, so that’s a plus. Of the badly dubbed dialogue, the older nun gets the best line when she says, “Bladder trouble is God’s punishment for sinful flesh!”