Tuesday, October 31, 2017

NETFLIX AND KILL: HOLIDAYS (2016) ** ½


Usually horror anthologies are wildly inconsistent endeavors.  Most times you have to sit through two or three clunky stories to get to a fun and/or memorable segment.  Holidays is different from the rest in that nearly all the stories are about as good (well, goodish) as the one that preceded it.  The stories themselves also feature a lot of the same faults (mostly crummy endings), but it’s still worth a look for fans of the subgenre. 

The first story, Valentine’s Day (** ½) was directed by Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer, the team who did Starry Eyes.  It’s about a bullied teenage girl who has a crush on her swim coach.  After she is pushed off the diving board by one of her tormentors, she sets out to get revenge. 

This tale has a distinct Carrie vibe to it.  (One of the girls even wears the same hat that P.J. Soles wore in Carrie.)  The strong set-up that succinctly establishes the heroine’s bullying is undermined by the rushed and unsatisfying finale.  Some of the fantasy sequences are a bit too tongue in cheek too, which makes for an inconsistent tone. 

St. Patrick’s Day (** ½), directed by Gary (Dracula Untold) Shore, is about an elementary school teacher with a problem student.  She tries to teach the class about the origins of St. Patrick’s Day and is soon plagued by visions of snakes.  Eventually, she learns she’s pregnant with a demonic snake baby. 

This segment has a real fever dream type of quality.  Shore tosses in everything from bizarre visions, to Wicker Man-inspired scenes of pagan rituals, to a disgusting birthing scene.  None of it quite sticks, but it gets points for sheer weirdness alone.   

Easter (** ½) is about a little girl who’s confused with the whole Easter Bunny/Jesus connection.  (“It’s kind of like a scary version of E.T.!”)  That night, she’s visited by a bizarre amalgam of Jesus and the Easter Bunny who wants her to join his ranks. 

Easter features some very odd imagery (like chicks hatching from Bunny Christ’s wounds) and a weird looking creature.  Like the other stories, it’s more about setting an off-kilter mood than telling a straight story.  Like Valentine’s Day, it ends much too abruptly to be satisfying though. 

Mother’s Day (** ½) revolves around a woman who habitually terminates her pregnancies.  Her doctor sends her to a remote hippie clinic in the desert ran exclusively by women.  There, they perform an ancient rite on her and hold her prisoner so that she can give birth to… something. 

The naked hippie rituals and freak-out sequences are the best part about this story.  Like St. Patrick’s Day, it revolves around pregnancies and strange visions.  It ends with an effective exclamation mark, but the journey to that moment is uneven to say the least. 

Father’s Day (** ½) focuses on a young woman who’s still reeling from the disappearance of her father.  On Father’s Day, an old tape of her father’s voice winds up on her doorstep.  She then goes off looking for him to uncover the reason for his sudden disappearance.   

This segment starts off with a great hook.  It also contains a suspenseful sequence where our heroine listens to the tape in her Walkman in order to retrace her father’s footprints.  The ominous build-up is all for naught though thanks to the abrupt and frustrating ending. 

Halloween (**) was directed by none other than Kevin (Clerks) Smith.  An asshole runs his webcam service and verbally berates the girls who works for him.  When he tries to rape one of the girls, they knock him out and start up a new cam show with him as the star. 

As is the case with Smith’s other horror work, Halloween begins like his typical foul-mouthed slacker comedies before turning dark and disturbing.  While the punchline is messed up, it’s more of a torture porn movie than the weirdo shit the other stories offer.  It might be the worst story of the lot, but it still has at least one clever edit. 

Christmas (** ½), directed by Scott (Priest) Stewart, stars Seth Green as a father waiting till the last minute to buy a VR gadget for his kid.  The customer ahead of him takes the last one and has a heart attack before he can get it to his car.  Instead of calling for help, Green takes the headset and runs.  When he tries to use the VR glasses on Christmas morning, he sees horrifying visions. 

This one has a great set-up and a good performance by Green.  Like so many other stories in the anthology, it falls apart in the homestretch.  You think it’s going to lead up to a confrontation with Green and the dead man, but things take an abrupt 180 near the end and the resulting twist is more of a head-scratcher than a mind-blower. 

New Year’s (***) stars Lorenza (The Green Inferno) Izzo as a lonely woman who goes on an internet date on New Year’s Eve.  The guy she picks up turns out to be a psycho killer.  Unfortunately for him, she turns out to be even crazier. 

Holidays concludes on a high note.  This tale is simple, straightforward, and effective.  Sure, the twist ending is predictable, but the big reveal is done in an entertaining manner.  Izzo’s performance is enormously appealing too, and her wide-eyed glee makes this final story breezy fun.

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