Tales of Halloween gives us ten intertwined All Hallows
Eve-themed horror stories. It’s similar
to the superior Trick R’ Treat in that characters from other stories turn up in
different stories. Adrienne Barbeau acts
as our host, trading in on her role in The Fog as the silky-voiced radio DJ narrator. There are also a lot of cameos by horror
directors sprinkled about, which add to the fun.
The first story is Sweet Tooth (***). A babysitter and her boyfriend frighten a
young boy by telling him about the local legend “Sweet Tooth”. It seems the kid found his parents eating all
his candy on Halloween night and killed them in a fit of rage. After the boy goes to bed, the babysitter and
her boyfriend eat all his candy and Sweet Tooth comes after them.
This segment has a great hook. The camerawork is a lot like John Carpenter
and there are a lot of nods to his work.
The gore is also pretty sweet (no pun intended), but it’s a shame the
monster looks so damned rubbery.
The Night Billy Raised Hell (**) was directed by Darren Lynn
(Saw 2-4) Bousman and it’s about a boy who is dared to egg the house of a
neighbor who never celebrates Halloween.
The neighbor (Barry Bostwick), who wears a top hat to conceal his horns,
catches him and makes him go around town playing increasingly mean-spirited
pranks. Eventually the duo takes to
robbing trick or treaters at gunpoint for their candy.
This segment has a good set-up. Unfortunately, once we meet the neighbor, it
all goes out the window. I like Bostwick
and all, but his performance is way too hammy.
I could’ve also done without all the annoying and unfunny comedic sound
effects too. At least we get a cameo by
the ever-sexy Adrianne Curry playing herself.
Trick (***) by Adam (The Toolbox Murders remake) Gierasch stars
B-movie favorites Tiffany Shepis and Trent Haaga. Four friends watch Night of the Living Dead
while getting wasted and handing out candy.
One trick or treater comes to the door and stabs Haaga. While his friends try to figure out what to
do, they are picked off one by one by knife-wielding kids in costumes.
After a silly second episode, this one gets the job
done. It’s simple, but effective and
Gierasch does a good job at making the unlikely premise scary. The rat poison death is particularly gruesome.
The Weak and the Wicked (** ½) is from Paul Solet, the
director of Grace. A young man wants to
get revenge on the street punks who burned his family alive. In order to do so, he must ask for help from
an unlikely source.
Like Trick, this one is simple. Perhaps a little too simple. As with the first episode it suffers from a
weak monster, but I did enjoy the performances by the cartoony killer street
gang.
Grim Grinning Ghost (** ½) is up next. Lin Shaye tells a ghost story at a party about
an evil spirit that kills you if you turn around. Naturally, her daughter encounters the same
ghost on her way home.
The scene of Lin Shaye telling the story is effective,
mostly because it’s always fun to watch her ham it up. The rest of the tale is competently
done. However, the ending is way too
abrupt to make much of an impact.
Ding Dong (**) by Lucky (May) McKee is a bit of a
disappointment. A couple who lost their
child the previous Halloween decide to go all out with scaring kids that come
to the front door. In doing so, they try
to hash out their marital problems.
Ding Dong benefits from the bravura performance by Polyanna
MacIntosh, who plays the wicked domineering wife. I’m not sure what all the shots of her
painted red and leering at the camera were all about, but she at least looks
great. The Hansel and Gretel theme that runs
throughout this story never really works though. That’s mostly because the narrative is so
fractured and borderline incomprehensible.
This Means War (***) finds two neighbors (Dana Gould and
James Duval) trying to outdo each other with their Halloween decorations. When it becomes clear that neither man will
back down, they set out to destroy each other’s decorations. It all ends in an all-out street fight
between the two.
This segment plays like a Halloween variation on Deck the
Halls. It isn’t scary at all, but it’s a
welcome breath of fresh air after the disjointed Ding Dong. Gould and Duval are well cast as the warring
neighbors and both men get their moments to shine.
Friday the 31st (****) by Mike Mendez is by far
the best story of the lot. A girl in a
Dorothy costume is pursued by a masked killer.
After he murders her with spear, he is visited by a trick or treating
alien. When the killer doesn’t have a treat to give, the alien possesses Dorothy to get a trick.
This one is a clever mash-up of slasher movie and alien
invasion. Mendez does the slasher thing
beautifully. I can see him directing a bona
fide Jason movie down the road. The
alien is really cool too and is done through old school stop-motion
animation. The ending is a hoot. Think Evil Dead Meets Monty Python. If only the other stories were this much fun.
The Ransom of Rusty Rex (** ½) by Ryan (Abominable) Schifrin
is about a pair of kidnappers who hold a millionaire’s son for ransom. They quickly realize he’s not exactly human. Even worse, he’s HUNGRY.
The twist ending of this one was fairly obvious from the
get-go. However, Schifrin goes through
the motions in a competent fashion. There’s
more comedy than horror here, and while it’s not entirely successful, it’s a
decent enough story.
Things end of a positive note with Bad Seed (***), directed by
Neil (Doomsday) Marshall. It’s all about
a killer Jack O’ Lantern. After it bites
the head off the guy who carved it, the pumpkin goes on a rampage.
Bad Seed has a winning sense of humor about it. (I particularly liked the scene with the
police sketch artist.) It also does a
nice job of tying all the previous stories together. Marshall films the pumpkin attacks with
panache too. It’s just a shame they
couldn’t come up with a satisfying ending.
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