STONE COLD DEAD (1980) ***

Richard Crenna stars as a determined cop out to stop a killer who’s going around murdering hookers with a sniper rifle.  Paul Williams is the evil pimp who...  

Okay, do you need any more convincing to see Stone Cold Dead?  Didn’t think so.  I mean how are you not going to watch it now that you know one of the most beloved icons of the ‘70s plays a pimp who forces the girls in his stable to give him head in the back of his limo?  

Apparently, there’s another version of the film that adds a scene of Linnea Quigley being killed.  Unfortunately, that’s not the one I saw.  I may have to track it down at some point.  It can only make the movie even better, right? 

I mean, this flick has everything.  Paul Williams getting roughed up by Richard Crenna at a hooker’s funeral, Chickie from Death Wish V as a crooked cop, strippers, hookers being taken out by Sniper Rifle POV shots, Bob Seger songs, you name it, it’s got it.

In addition, it’s got this weird energy that makes the predictable plot feel fresh.  It’s probably too long with maybe one extraneous subplot that bogs things down, but it’s constantly absorbing thanks to the performances.  Crenna is given such an eccentric character to play that it more than makes up for the film’s lapses in other areas.  He has a great gimmick where he calls his answering machine that’s set up to a Rube Goldberg contraption that feeds his fish whenever the ringer goes off.  That way he doesn’t have to race home to take care of them when he’s on a case.  It’s offbeat touches like this that help to make Stone Cold Dead stone cold awesome.  This also leads to a wonderful character moment for Crenna when a woman asks him why he has goldfish for a pet and he replies, “Fish don’t bark!”

AKA:  Point Two-Two.  AKA:  Sin Sniper.