A BETTER WAY TO DIE (2000) *

A drug bust goes wrong, causing a young undercover cop named Boomer (Scott Wiper) to quit the force.  He then goes on a road trip to propose to his estranged girlfriend (Natasha Henstridge).  While on the road, he gets mistaken for a guy named Harry who a lot of people want dead.  If he ever wants to see his girlfriend again, Boomer will have to avoid hit men, gangsters, dirty cops, and other assorted bad guys. 

Wiper starred, wrote, and directed A Better Way to Die.  In Hollywood, this is known as a “triple threat”.  On my couch, I was something of a triple threat too as I threatened to fall asleep three times while watching it.  

The big-name stars only have a few scenes and/or disappear for large chunks of the movie.  In addition to Henstridge, we have Lou Diamond Phillips as a drunk Fed, Joe Pantoliano as a one-armed detective, and Andre Braugher as a gay hitman.  Phillips is amusing but given very little to do.  I’d pretty much watch Pantoliano in anything, although his annoying performance really put that loyalty to the test.  While Braugher probably gives the best performance in the flick, he’s saddled with a bunch of long speeches about the importance of being a “professional” that have appeared in countless other similar ‘90s era hitmen films. 

A Better Way to Die spins from one shootout or confrontation to the other.  Most of these scenes are dawdling and go through the motions without much energy.  The action is poorly staged, and the humor rarely lands.  The ending is absolutely crummy too.

I will say this for Wiper.  He isn’t a particularly good writer, director, or actor, but he was smart enough to write and direct a love scene for himself and Natasha Henstridge.  So, I guess he’s OK in my book.

Wiper later went on to direct the WWE action movies The Condemned and The Marine 3:  Homefront.