BLAZING STEWARDESSES (1975) * ½

 

I already reviewed this a decade ago, but it never hurts to watch the movies on this Al Adamson boxset with a fresh set of eyes.  Adamson made a career out of slapping together two genres in order to reach a wider market.  Blood of Ghastly Horror was a mix of crime picture and horror movie.  The Dynamite Brothers was a hybrid of Blaxploitation and Kung Fu flick.  This is a blend of western and sexploitation.  As far as nudie westerns go, it’s got nothing on Herschell Gordon Lewis’ Linda and Abilene, THE definitive work of the genre, as far as I’m concerned. 

Connie Hoffman returns as sexy stewardess Debbie.  She returns home from a flight and finds her boyfriend in the sack with another woman.  She and her stewardess gal pals (Regina Carrol and Marilyn Joi) then take off for a vacation at a casino ranch owned by her old pal Brewster (Robert Livingston).  When a gang of modern-day rustlers try to put a stop to Brewster’s gambling joint, it’s up to a mysterious cowboy in a white hat (Geoffrey Land) to save the day.

The idea of cowgirl stewardesses could’ve worked, but there’s just too much filler.  It’s one thing to pad the movie with travelogue scenes of the stewardesses going to the zoo, shopping, watching parades, and attending rodeos.  I guess it makes sense as the film was still kind of aping the Stewardess Report template.  However, the straight western scenes are terrible, and all the comedy shit just plain doesn’t work at all.

The good news is, the sex scenes are decent.  Foot fetish fans will enjoy the toe-sucking rendition “This Little Piggy”, and the funny bit when a couple does it while standing on their heads.  Ultimately, there just aren’t enough of them to make it worthwhile. 

The cast aren’t much to write home about.  Yvonne DeCarlo (who sings!) plays the madam of a cathouse, but her role really could’ve been played by anyone.  While Hoffman was a lot of fun in the original, this time around, she seems like she really doesn’t want to be there.  Also, Joi, who was such a memorable presence in the first movie is pretty much wasted here.  Carrol on the other hand, gets way too much to do.  She completely overdoes the whole bimbo thing and her schtick becomes instantly annoying. 

Speaking of annoying schtick, seeing the Ritz Brothers (whose roles were originally intended for The Three Stooges!) still doing their antiquated pratfalls and facial contortions way past their prime is downright embarrassing.  Their impromptu dance number alone is enough to make you want to blow your brains out.  Originally a trio, only two of the Ritz Brothers, Harry and Jimmy, perform as Al passed away several years prior.  He was the lucky one.

Despite the fact his previous film, Jessi’s Girls was a decent enough western, Blazing Stewardesses shows that Adamson’s strength was more in the drive-in exploitation genre and not in westerns.  He isn’t particularly adept at comedy either (the stuff with the Ritz Brothers is painful), so whenever there aren’t any smokin’ stewardesses disrobing for the camera (which is about the majority of the second and third acts), it can be awfully rough going.  

Here’s my original review that ran on my old site on November 22^nd, 2010:

BLAZING STEWARDESSES  (1975)  * ½

Blazing Stewardesses is director Al Adamson’s pretty awful sequel to the pretty good The Naughty Stewardesses.  In this one, our swinging stewardesses head west to help an elderly cowhand revitalize his dude ranch.  Of all the places Adamson could’ve sent his sexy stews, he put them in a dumb western.  Why couldn’t we have gotten The Stewardesses in a Haunted House or The Stewardesses in Space or something along those lines?  But no, we’re stuck with this crap.

I will say one thing; the opening credits are kinda cool and look like something out of a B western from the 30’s.  After that though, the movie kinda falls apart.  To make matters worse, the sex scenes are few and far between.  There is however, one rather hot part where a chick plays an oral-centric version of “This Little Piggy”.  That’s about the only marginally sexy moment the movie has going for it.

Mostly though; it’s too much filler and not enough fucking.  This might be the first movie that’s all padding.  There are long parade sequences, rodeo scenes, and way too much godawful comic relief by the supremely annoying Ritz Brothers to make you think this could’ve ever been a good flick.  Speaking of annoying, Regina Carrol will grate on your nerves and totally overplays the whole bimbo thing.  Because she’s the director’s wife though, she gets a shit ton of screen time.

Bottom Line:  Ask your stewardess for extra pillows because you’ll be sleeping through this one.

AKA:  Cathouse Callgirls.  AKA:  Cathouse Cowgirls.  AKA:  Texas Layover.  AKA:  The Great Truck Robbery.  AKA:  The Jet Set.  AKA:  Up Like a Shot.