The Vampires is one of the rare Lucha Libre movies to boast a handful of name stars. In addition to wrestling superstar Mil Mascaras, we also have Pedro Armandariz Jr., and John Carradine popping up. Carradine is in the fun opening sequence where he is sitting on the set reading from a book of Poe before disappearing before the audience’s eyes. Later, he turns up wearing a shitty Dracula cape while locked in a cage by the sexy vampire villainesses. Many people would be tempted to make a criticism about Carradine’s career here, but all I can say is it’s good work if you can get it.
After winning a wrestling match, Mil Mascaras is nearly run off the road by a speeding car. When it crashes, Mil investigates to find the car was being driven by… bats! Naturally, the bats fly off into the night and take the form of sexy vampire women. Sensing Mil Mascaras is a strong and worthy adversary, they offer him a chance to join their ranks. Mil Mascaras wants nothing to do with their bargain and sets out to put a stop to their reign of terror once and for all.
I’ve seen some shitty rubber bat effects in my time, but The Vampires might feature the all-time worst (which is to say, they’re hilarious). My favorite bit was the scenes where the bats transform into the vampire women. The camera lingers on a shot of a bat flapping its rubbery wings before slowly dissolving to a shot of a vampire maiden in a green dress flapping her arms! This is why I love the films of Federico Curiel so much. The guy could take the barest minimum bargain basement effects and turn them into some sort of B-movie surrealist masterpiece that would make Ed Wood envious.
Another touch I loved was the vampire women’s henchmen. They wear tight red t-shirts and black berets, which makes them look like villains from an old episode of the Batman TV show. Also, when they are shot, they disappear, leaving behind only their clothes! The throne room fight scenes also have a distinct Star Trek feel, which adds to the fun.
Then of course, there is the vampire dance number. In a typical Lucha Libre horror movie, the big dance number usually has nothing to do with the plot and is only there to pad out the running time. What makes The Vampires fun is that the big dance number is actually vital to the plot… and by that I mean a bunch of sexy vampire women do a big dance routine, flapping their capes in the air, and twirling around while Carradine (whose voice is dubbed into Spanish) gleefully looks on.
If the film has a flaw, it’s that it lacks the balls-to-the-walls weirdness Mil Mascaras’ best work has. Cheesy special effects and costumes aside, it’s fairly straightforward stuff, all things considered. Even Carradine is a bit wasted as he spends most of the movie locked up. I would’ve also liked to have seen Maura (The Batwoman) Monti playing the Vampire Queen instead of the boring girlfriend character. Still, despite those quibbles, fans of Lucha Libre horror cinema are sure to get their money’s worth from this one.
AKA: The Vampire Girls.
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