Maria (Susan Hemingway) is an innocent teenage girl who gets caught making time with a guy in the woods by the nosy Father Vicente (William Berger). He takes Maria back to her mother and demands she be sent to a convent for her own good. First order of business when she gets there: Mother Superior (Ana Zanatti) has to do a hymen check. Purely a formality, you understand.
Later, Father Vicente hears Maria’s confession and beats off while she tells him about her naughty nightmares of getting carnal with her cousin. Before Maria can even get fitted for her nun’s habit, she’s informed she’s got to wear a crown of thorns over her naughty bits, even if it draws blood. I love it when they strictly enforce the dress code like that. Eventually our heroine discovers Mother Superior is a card-carrying Satan worshipper with a penchant for lesbian orgies. When Maria proves to be more trouble than she’s worth, Mother Superior decides to have her tried as a witch.
Director Jess Franco really took his time on this one. He slowly draws you in by doling out the exploitation and supernatural elements in a deliberate manner. That doesn’t necessarily get in the way of the fun. In fact, it makes it feel a little bit classier than your typical Franco fuck fest. He even shows, dare I say, RESTRAINT in some scenes.
Franco delivers some good imagery too. The dream scenes where a hairy-handed Satan (Herbert Fux) scratches and paws at nubile nun flesh are particularly well done. He even tosses in some Mark of the Devil-style torture sequences for variety as well. Sure, none of this is particularly over the top. I’m sure it probably won’t wow you the way Sadomania or Female Vampire will. However, Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun still packs in enough sleaze to satisfy fans of Franco and nunsploitation in general.
AKA: Love Letters from a Portuguese Nun.
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