THE PINK BIKINI GANG VS. THE BLACK COBRAS (2013) **

The Pink Bikini Gang vs. the Black Cobras is sort of like a south of the border version of Charlie’s Angels.  The only difference is that they don’t speak English and wear pink bikinis all the time.  Their evil rivals, the Black Cobras all wear black bikinis and have cobra tramp stamp tattoos.  When the Black Cobras steal a valuable microchip, it’s up to the Pink Bikini Gang to recover the chip and take down the bad bikini girls.   

 

This has slightly better production values than a typical shot on video movie.  The acting is pretty bad, and because I understand very little Spanish, the plot was virtually indecipherable.  The fact that it was apparently the second entry of a trilogy of which I haven’t seen the first and third films didn’t help either.  However, it has a lot of girls in bikinis, so it’s certainly easy on the eyes.   

 

For a Lucha Libre fan like me, it helped that it featured Hurricane Ramirez in a supporting role.  It’s obviously not the original Hurricane, and it’s possibly not even his son or one of his other descendants.  (It’s hard to tell for sure because he’s wearing a mask the whole time.)  However, his participation alone made some of this foolishness go down smooth.  He’s involved in a couple of training sequences where he whips the heroines into shape in a gym, and he also spars with another luchador named Poco Rojo.  Unfortunately, there’s not enough wrestling action here to qualify it as a Lucha Libre movie.   

 

Overall, The Pink Bikini Gang vs. the Black Cobras feels like a cheap Mexican variation on an Andy Sidaris movie.  It’s not awful or anything.  It’s just that there’s not enough action or skin to make it recommended.  Like the Sidaris films, there are tantalizing scenes where the ladies in the cast get dressed.  To me, it’s a true sign of sexiness when a woman can get you hot while putting their clothes ON.  Too bad the heroines wait a long time to change into their supposedly trademark pink bikinis.  At least the Black Cobras wear their black bikinis throughout.   

 

While The Pink Bikini Gang vs. the Black Cobras is fitfully amusing, it ultimately leaves a lot to be desired.  The low budget is probably the main culprit.  (There are lots of scenes set in hotel rooms and lobbies.)  Whenever things get slow, we are treated to endless scenes of girls in bikinis walking down hallways while brandishing handguns.  I’m sure this a fetish for someone out there, and I have no doubt that when they see it, they’re going to love it.  In the end, these scenes didn’t do much for me, especially after about the tenth time.

 

I might’ve been able to get on board with all of this if the climactic Bad Bikinis vs. Good Bikinis showdown wasn’t such a long time coming.  I will admit that the extended yoga ball training sequence that concludes the movie is pretty great though.  More pictures should end this way, if I can be completely honest.