Friday, October 29, 2021

THE 31 MOVIES OF HORROR-WEEN: MOVIE #3: DEADLY INSTINCTS (1997) **


(Streamed via The Archive)

A meteor crash lands at a small college.  Aboard the meteor are two passengers:  One, a slimy Giger-inspired extraterrestrial monster.  The other, a scarred (but still sexy) space babe (Kadamba Simmons) who dresses like a fetish model in a cheap bondage video.  When a professor (Todd Jensen) and his teacher’s pet, Louise (Samantha Womack) are attacked by the creature, they call the cops, who of course, don’t believe their story.  Meanwhile, the alien puts a bunch of coeds in a trance and leads them down into his lair down in the sewer where it turns them into mind-controlled zombies.  It’s then up to the professor and his arm candy to head into the sewer to save humanity.

Deadly Instincts is sort of a loose remake of Tim Kincaid’s Breeders.  (It was even released in some markets with that title.)  Unfortunately, it never comes close to matching that classic’s knack for sheer trashiness.  While it occasionally flirts with Skinamax territory (like the lengthy girls’ locker room scene), it often comes up short when the chips are down.  By suggesting more than it delivers (something the original Breeders can’t be accused of), it’s ultimately a letdown.  The elongated sequence where a bunch of dimwitted cops go into the sewer to hunt the monster also gets in the way of the fun as it seemingly goes on forever and offers very little in the way of gore or suspense.  

The cast is just meh.  Although Simmons looks hot, she is given very little to do.  Womack on the other hand is given too much to do as her transformation from sexpot coed to mind-controlled zombie to Ripley-inspired gun-toting badass is laughable.  Jensen makes for a dull and forgettable leading man.  

The inept CGI meteor special effects in the opening scenes had me fearing the worst as they resemble a screen saver for Windows 98.  Thankfully, the monster suit isn’t too bad, although it’s a bit clunky.  The gooey slop he covers his lady friends in is kinda gross too.  In the end, the derivative beastie is the most memorable thing about the movie.  

AKA:  Breeders.

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