BLOOD TRACKS (1985) * ½

I’m always up for a good rock n’ roll-themed horror flick.  This is not a good one.  Heck, it can’t even deliver on the basic thrills the subgenre has to offer.  

Swedish rock band Easy Action goes to a snow-covered mountaintop to shoot a rock video.  There’s an avalanche, and the film crew is stuck snowbound on the mountain.  Eventually, they are attacked by a crazed mountain family.  

The first big miscalculation here is that Easy Action isn’t the main focus.  They lip synch half a song (the title tune) during the video shoot, but it’s not goofy enough to be fun and not good enough to be legitimately entertaining.  They look like decent enough guys.  I can only imagine how cool it would’ve been if the whole movie revolved around them in the snow in their big hair and spandex outfits fighting off the hillbilly killers.  

Another misstep is the fact that the action shifts from the snowbound cabin to a nearby abandoned factory about halfway through.  While Blood Tracks isn’t good, at least the snowy location set it apart from other rock n’ roll horror flicks.  Having the bulk of the film take place in a thoroughly generic warehouse just makes the second half even more of a chore to get through.  Very few horror films seem to take place in wintry climates.  Maybe Blood Tracks is proof there’s a reason why more horror flicks aren’t set in a winter wonderland.  

You can tell the filmmakers were going for a rock n’ roll Hills Have Eyes kind of vibe.  The problem is the characters are closer to Pod People than Trick or Treat.  The endless scenes of them scouting locations, wandering around in the snow, and splitting up to look for other crew members who have already been killed off are dull and repetitive.  The prologue explaining the killer family’s origins was totally unnecessary too, and the tacked-on narration to further connect the flashback to the events in the present day is laughable.  

There’s an OK severed head, but for the most part, the gore is weak.  Sometimes, it looks like it was trimmed to receive an R rating.  Other times, it’s just too dark to see what the hell just happened (which goes for many of the stalking and/or would-be suspense scenes).  The one legitimately cool moment happens at the very end when the main killer has his hand chopped off and as the heroes make their getaway, he cauterizes his stump on a red-hot shovel, effectively setting things up for a sequel that thankfully never happened.  

AKA:  Heavy Metal.  AKA:  Shocking Heavy Metal.