PRISONERS OF THE GHOSTLAND (2021) **

In order to entice viewers, studios often put blurbs from critics on the movie poster.  Prisoners of the Ghostland might have the first poster in history that features a blurb from its star.  In this case, it’s Nicolas Cage who proclaims, “The Wildest Movie I’ve Ever Made!” at the bottom of the artwork.  If that doesn’t make you want to see it, nothing will.

Unfortunately, I’m not quite sure I agree with that bold statement.  Sure, there are moments of weirdness that stand out.  It’s just that the flick never really cuts loose and gets crazy enough to live up to Cage’s proclamation.    

Cage stars as a bank robber who is tasked with finding the daughter (Sofia Boutella from The Mummy) of Bill Moseley.  He is outfitted with a suit that is rigged with various bombs, so if he fails to complete his mission and/or gets other ideas, it will detonate and leave Cage without vital parts of his anatomy.  Once he’s suited up, he ventures into the post-apocalyptic wasteland to find her.

Prisoners of the Ghostland is weird, sure, but a lot of it feels like a bunch of weirdness for weirdness’ sake.  Like when Cage is about to leave on his mission and the town stands around and sings a nursery rhyme in unison… because… it’s weird.  Don’t confuse weirdness for originality as much of the film feels like recycled elements from other movies.  There are bits from post-apocalyptic actioners, Spaghetti Westerns, samurai dramas, and even other Cage flicks (like Drive Angry).  However, it never quite feels like a cohesive vision; just parts from other genre pictures that have been slapped together with Krazy Glue.  

Moseley is a lot of fun as the villain.  I’m not sure why it took so long for he and Cage to cross paths in a movie, but he pretty much steals the show as his character is basically a mashup of Colonel Sanders, Boss Hogg, and Foghorn Leghorn.  

Cage’s performance is a disappointing mixed bag.  For much of the running time, he is in Somber Cage Mode, but occasionally (like the movie itself), he hints at something more interesting lurking in the shadows.  Sometimes, he will slide into random outbursts of Cage Rage.  Take for instance, his line reading of the word, “Testicle”.  Only Cage could’ve come up with that.  On the downside, Cage has made so many of these offbeat movies now that he is starting to repeat himself.  Whenever he breaks out his Kung Fu moves in this flick, there’s a hint of Elvis in his posture and facial movements (like Honeymoon in Vegas).  During one such scene, he even blurts out his catchphrase from Deadfall, “Hi-Fuckin’-Ya!”  On one hand, it’s sorta funny for him to do a callback to one of his most famous performances.  On the other, it just sorta reveals that there isn’t a whole lot up his sleeve this time around.  (Aside from the detonator that is.)

Prisoners of the Ghostland is not without its moments.  There just isn’t enough of them to make it worthwhile.  It particularly goes off the rails as it enters the third act.  Not that a movie like this one had a firm grasp of the rails to begin with.