Tuesday, November 29, 2022

CENTERFOLD FEVER (1981) ** ½

R. Bolla stars as the editor of a dirty magazine (called “Skin”) who wants his centerfold girls to be different from the models found in other smut rags.  (“Just having a pussy isn’t enough anymore!”)  When he hires his girls, they not only have to pose nude, but must write stories for the mag as well.  Kandi (Kandi Barbour) has to interview Marc “Mr. 10 ½” Stevens to see if he still lives up to his measurement, Heather (Tiffany Clark) tries to get a scoop on the latest centerfold and winds up balling her, and Suzanne (Samantha Fox) goes undercover to investigate a porn theater which gives new meaning to the term “audience participation”.

It all ends with a big porn magazine party where there are various floorshows.  (Veri Knotty ties her pussy lips together, a dominatrix makes her slave lick her ass, and Stevens and a porn starlet make like a XXX version of Bobby and Cissy and do a dance and fuck number.)  Afterwards, there’s an orgy and Annie Sprinkle performs a “Bosom Ballet”.  With a finale packed to the gills with this kind of action, it’s easy enough to overlook some of the film’s flaws in the early going, but overall, it’ not quite hot enough to make it entirely recommended.

The premise is thin, and the pacing is herky-jerky, but it does get better as it goes along.  The sex scenes don’t get very hot until the end.  Until then, they’re mostly standard issue, as they are shot in static fashion, and with little in the way of chemistry between the performers.  

The cast is kind of funny too, which helps.  Ron Jeremy does his usual shtick (juggling, sucking his own dick, doing impressions, etc.) as a horny photographer called “The Maniac”.  R. Bolla gets all the best lines as the editor.  When Fox sucks his dick to get a job, he muses, “I liked her credentials, so I hired her”.  My favorite line occurred when he was surrounded by a bunch of big-breasted starlets, and he quipped, “As Bob Hope would say, ‘Thanks for the mammaries!”  Although his performance is good for a chuckle or two, it’s not quite enough to sustain your interest throughout the entire running time.

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