(Streamed via Crackle)
Jason Mewes stars as Jack, a paramedic struggling to get over his cheating ex-girlfriend. He finds an unlikely new love in Danika (Erica Cox) when he finds her in an alley covered with blood. He brings her home, cleans her up, and to show her gratitude, she turns into a vampire. Since it’s love at first sight, Jack keeps the relationship afloat by finding her victims so she can feed.
Mewes is surprisingly good in his dramatic scenes while still being able to deftly delve into his usual Jay persona when needed for comic effect. Cox is also effective as the pathetic, obviously dangerous, but… you know… hot, vampire. She is especially good while covered in blood and wanting sex. She even participates in a three-way with Mewes and another babe, although director Harve Glazer unwisely chooses to get arty and make it into more of a dimly lit montage. Cox only appeared in a handful of movies, and it’s a shame she wasn’t in more stuff because she is great in this. Richard Fitzpatrick is a lot of fun too as Mewes’ foulmouthed paramedic pal.
Bitten doesn’t exactly break new ground, but it remains a simple and entertaining vampire flick. Although using the vampire as a metaphor for addiction is a tad obvious, when it switches gears and uses it as a metaphor for dating someone with a lot of baggage, it works much better. It helps that some of this is often quite funny. I especially liked the love triangle between Mewes, Cox, and his old girlfriend. (When she turns into a vampire, she hisses “I want my TV back!”) I also admired some of the odd choices, like the inexplicable use of Spanish title cards and the random-ass Spaghetti Western opening title sequence.
While Bitten is surprisingly sturdy for the bulk of its running time, the ending offers more fizzle than sizzle. If anything, it’s good to see Jay stretching his acting muscles a bit and showing he doesn’t always need Silent Bob by his side to carry a picture. It’s Cox though who gets the best line of the movie when describing her vampire hunger: “It’s like I want to fuck you and eat you at the same time!”
AKA: Vampire Apocalypse. AKA: Bitten in the Twilight.
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