I read a few reviews claiming that Dracula’s Fiancée was a lesser Jean Rollin film. Ten minutes into the movie, we get a scene where a naked vampire chick stalks a foggy graveyard and bites a circus dwarf on the neck. Now, I ask you: How can any film containing a scene such as this be considered a “lesser” work of ANY filmmaker?
Anyway, an old vampire hunter and his young assistant are on the trail of Count Dracula. After hassling the dwarf in the cemetery, they go and bug the “village idiot” of a nearby town. This village is pretty great because this gal is without a doubt the hottest village idiot in screen history. (She even flashes the vampire hunter.) I don’t know what the exact coordinates of this village was, but I am halfway tempted to book an Airbnb there this weekend.
So, the vampire hunter and his manservant head on over to this convent where a bunch of nuns are looking after Dracula’s Fiancée. Since she is Dracula’s Fiancée after all, her sexual powers have turned the nuns into horny, pipe-smoking basket cases. Admittedly, this might be one of the film’s weaker sections, but it does contain what I believe to be the only filmed instance of a nun using belly dancing to ward off evil, so it is extremely vital, if only because it contains such a cinematic milestone.
After that, the dwarf, the vampire babe, and an “ogress” (who despite the name is a hot babe that walks around with her boob hanging out) take Dracula’s Fiancée to meet the “She-Wolf, The Mistress of Ceremonies” who is played by none other than Brigitte Lahaie! To kick off the nuptials, one of Dracula’s henchmen takes out a nun’s heart… using a goddamned HAMMER. A hammer!
Just doing a quick mental round-up of some of the Rollin movies I’ve seen—
Rape of the Vampire?
Requiem for a Vampire?
Shiver of the Vampires?
Night of the Hunted?
The Iron Rose?
Living Dead Girl?
The Grapes of Death?
FUCKING ZOMBIE LAKE?!?
Fly Me the French Way?
GUESS WHAT? NONE OF THESE MOVIES HAVE A SCENE WHERE SOMEONE’S HEART GETS TAKEN OUT WITH A GODDAMNED HAMMER!
But it gets better. A little while later, the nun wakes up, grabs her heart off the ground, stumbles around for a bit, and then LITERALLY KISSES HER HEART GOODBYE, and throws it on a burning pyre.
“Lesser” my ass.
Yes, Dracula’s Fiancée comes complete with all the stuff you’d expect from a Jean Rollin flick. Namely, pale vampire chicks, abandoned castles, and pale vampire chicks wandering around abandoned castles. However, what makes it even more impressive is the fact that even though he made it in 2002, it still looks and feels like a lost relic from his ‘70s heyday. Incredible.
In fact, I may be inclined to say that this is actually… my… favorite Rollin film? Sure, it’s missing the poetic dreamlike lyricism of Requiem for a Vampire and the gut-punch ferocity of Night of the Hunted. What it does have is the confidence of a genre director in his twilight years gleefully indulging us with his cinematic fetishes one more time. I respect that kind of shit.
Another thing that’s cool about this movie is its episodic nature. You never know just who the heck is going to show up and add to the gaggle of already memorable characters. In fact, it almost doesn’t seem like a big deal that Dracula doesn’t even arrive on the scene until the film’s halfway over. If anything, he seems a bit lame next to the cast of characters that are running around elsewhere in the flick. In fact, he spends most of his time imprisoned in a grandfather clock. I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to mean Dracula is a timeless figure or that time is up for conventional cinematic creatures. All I know is that if someone asks you if you want to watch Dracula’s Fiancée, your response should be “I DO!”
AKA: Fiancée of Dracula.
No comments:
Post a Comment