Soon after A.A. Milne’s beloved Winnie-the-Pooh lapsed into the public domain, this horror movie based on the character was announced. I have to admit, it was a pretty great idea. Unfortunately, that’s about all writer/director Rhys (Firenado) Frake-Waterfield had: An idea. He just never bothered to build a movie around the idea that was worthy of the initial inspiration.
The opening animated segment held a lot of promise. Christopher Robin finds, feeds, and nurtures a group of anthropomorphic animals hiding out in the Hundred Acre Wood. When Christopher grows up and takes off for college, he leaves the animals to fend for themselves. They turn feral and cannibalistic, and wind up eating poor old Eeyore. The shot of Eeyore’s tail attached to his tombstone billowing in the breeze gave me a hearty chuckle. Once it switches over to live-action, it’s all downhill from there.
Christopher (Nikolai Leon) returns to the Wood years later with his new bride (Paula Coiz) in tow. Of course, he doesn’t realize the animals have become cannibal killers, and is shocked when they kill his wife and take him prisoner. Meanwhile, a group of friends gather in the woods nearby for a girls’ weekend and they are eventually menaced by the deranged Pooh and Piglet.
Frake-Waterfield may have started out with an ingenious idea, but he seems to have little understanding how films in general work. Scenes just sort of happen at random and peter out with little consequence. Scenes that in most movies would’ve been short and sweet, seem to go on forever here. Scenes that in other pictures would’ve been allowed to breathe in order to flesh out the characters or mount suspense end abruptly or are awkwardly edited.
Likewise, the horror sequences lack build-up, momentum, or even a satisfying payoff. Take for instance the scene where one of the women takes selfies in the hot tub. You would think Pooh and Piglet would either use the pool to their advantage and drown her, or maybe even use the phone as a weapon of death to make a commentary on today’s overreliance on technology. What do they do? Tie her up and run her over with a car! I mean, I didn’t know Pooh had his driver’s license (or even a learner’s permit), but okay.
While there is some gore here, it’s poorly lit, and the effects are inconsistent. I suspect they blew must their budget making the Pooh and Piglet (who has a set of humorous looking tusks protruding out of his maw) costumes and there wasn’t much left for anything else. That might explain why there’s no Owl, Rabbit, Kanga, or even Tigger. (Unless they are saving them for the sequel.)
Oh, don’t bother with this steaming pile of Pooh.
this film is kickass, you're dead wrong here. Can't wait for the sequel.
ReplyDeleteTigger wasn't in this film because the book he's in has not yet entered the public domain(he wasn't in the first book which is the only one in the public domain currently, Milne's other three books aren't in the PD yet)so legally he couldn't be used without incurring the wrath of Disney(don't expect to see Gopher show up as he was created by Disney), but he might show up in the sequel as by the time filming for the sequel starts the 2nd book might be in the public domain, hopefully Rabbit and Owl show up as well, there's lots of potential there. I could totally see Rabbit keeping a garden full of corpses and Owl being an evil scientist who experiments on his victims.
Also excited for those Bambi and Peter Pan films.