Here’s another inane, frustrating, and forgettable no-budget loser from Dustin Ferguson. The early scenes clue you in to just how rough things are going to be. After the long opening title sequence (featuring some awful heavy metal music), we’re treated to pointless news reports and unending Found Footage scenes of people wandering around the woods. It’s like half the movie is someone’s vacation videos passed off as a Cocaine Bear rip-off.
Anyway, a cougar escapes from a laboratory and hides out in the mountains. An annoying influencer and her cameraman boyfriend are also traipsing around the area. While collecting footage for her social media videos, they have a run-in with the cougar, who thankfully kills them. The crazed cat then kills a drug mule and eats his cache of coke. Soon, the coked-up cougar finds its way into the city where it claims more victims.
You would think the fact that Cocaine Cougar is only fifty minutes long would be a sign that there is a God in Heaven and that he is merciful. However, this was one of the longest fifty minutes in my entire life. Because of the fractured narrative, lack of central characters, excessive padding, and complete non-ending, the “film” (notice how I put the word film in quotations) feels about five times that length. The janky CGI cougar effects, annoying red tinted POV camerawork during the scenes of the cougar stalking its prey, and completely unnecessary amusement park sequences doesn’t help matters either. The fact that most of the kills happen offscreen is further infuriating and helps ensure that I will not be watching a movie with the word “Cocaine” followed by an animal in the title any time soon.
Jim Wynorski muse Rocky Demarco is the only name in the cast. She plays a model who gets ate by the cougar. Unfortunately, she isn’t in it long enough to leave much of an impression.
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