FORMAT: BLU-RAY
A vicious gang known as The Terrible Seven ride into a small town and take over the place. A meek seminary student (Troy Donahue) is named sheriff and must figure out a way to bring law and order to the town. Naturally, he promptly gets killed. However, when he goes to Heaven, he’s somehow able to convince St. Peter to let him come back down to Earth to finish off the gang once and for all.
Producer/director Albert (Confessions of an Opium Eater) Zugsmith made this western comedy South of the Border and on the cheap. Since it was filmed at Churubusco Azteca Studios, that means a few of your favorite stars of Mexican monster, western, and wrestling movies turn up. German (The Monsters Demolisher) Robles is the leader of The Terrible Seven who shoots daggers out of his cane, Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy’s Elizabeth Campbell (in her final role) spends most of the movie in drag, The Wild Bunch’s Emilio Fernandez plays the former sheriff, and Pedro Armendariz, Jr. is a bandit who poses as a priest.
Most of the humor revolves around irritating fast motion comedy scenes, all of which are painfully unfunny. The same goes for Donahue’s pratfalls and double takes. There’s also plenty of lazy stereotypes accompanied by “comic” musical stings. (Every time a Native Chieftain shows up, the same war drums music plays.) It also features what has got to be the cheapest Heaven set in film history.
Oh, I get all those old matinee idols like Troy Donahue, Tab Hunter, and Fabian mixed up, and Troy’s performance did little to clear up my confusion.
In short, The Phantom Gunslinger is a rather excruciating experience. From the moment the annoying old-timey prospector narrator opens his mouth, the movie leaps mercilessly upon your nerves and stays there for ninety-nine painful minutes. I will say the transfer from Vinegar Syndrome is great; so much so that you can see the wires when Donahue is hopping up and down on his custom made spring shoes.
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