Maybe it was all those Ultraman flicks that tripped me up. Perhaps it was the oddball numbering system on the Camp Blood movies. Whatever the case, I somehow miscounted and only reviewed 364 movies on Tubi in 365 days instead of the promised 365. If you bet against the house, I'd say you won on a technicality. To make up for this grave oversight, I am going to give everyone a sneak peek of my latest book, Kung Fu Companion: The Chopsocky Movie Guide with this review of Enemies Closer, which is available to stream on Tubi. I hope you all can forgive me.
ENEMIES CLOSER (2014) ** ½
It took nearly twenty years, but Jean-Claude Van Damme and his Timecop/Sudden Death director Peter Hyams finally reunited to make this solid actioner. The twist this time out is that Van Damme’s actually playing the villain. Although he doesn’t quite eclipse his villainous turn in The Expendables 2, it still remains one of his all-time best performances and his scenery-chewing is easily the best thing about the film.
An airplane full of heroin goes down in the water near the US/Canada border. A group of mercenaries posing as Mounties (led by Van Damme) come on the scene looking for it. Meanwhile, a Special Forces solider-turned-park ranger (Tom Everett Scott) is assaulted by a man (Orlando Jones) who holds him responsible for his brother’s death during the war. Their beef is quickly put on hold when they cross paths with Van Damme and his men. The two men then have to learn to work together in order to survive.
Hyams keeps things moving at a steady clip for the most part. The film is rather engaging for a while, but it takes a nosedive in quality in the third act as the scenes of people running around in the dark quickly get repetitive and wear out their welcome. (These scenes are often too dark to clearly make out the action.) Another stumbling block: It’s just plain odd seeing the usually good-natured Tom Everett (That Thing You Do) Scott and Orlando (Double Take) Jones trying to act tough. I for one never thought I’d see the American Werewolf in Paris fight The Muscles from Brussels.
Most of the fun comes from Van Damme’s hilarious off-kilter performance. He goes way over the top and seems to be having the time of his life. Sporting poofy red hair and a devilish grin, Van Damme minces around in a Mountie outfit and goes on and on about his pet political causes like veganism and pollution. His maniacal laughter, erratic behavior, and deranged monologues (including one about a pet goose he had when he was a kid) in some ways make him a bit reminiscent of The Joker. (Caesar Romero or Heath Ledger, take your pick.) He also gets the best line when he says, “Think about our carbon footprints! Think about the children!”
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