HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS (2013) ***

After killing the witch who tried to eat them as children, orphans Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) grow up to become prolific witch hunters.  When a witch (Famke Janssen) makes off with the children of a small village, the mayor hires the duo to bring them back.  They soon learn she is planning to perform a ritual that will make her all-powerful, and Hansel and Gretel set out to take her down. 

Horror movies based on fairy tales can usually go either way, but Hansel and Gretel:  Witch Hunters manages to be quite a lot of fun.  Written and directed by Tommy (Dead Snow) Wirkola, it’s full of funny touches (like sketches of missing children tied to milk bottles and Hansel having diabetes from eating too much candy from the witch’s house as a kid) and is a little bit better than you’d expect at nearly every turn.  It moves at a zippy pace and doesn’t take itself too seriously, which certainly helps.  The gore is also plentiful as bodies are ripped apart, people explode, and heads are crushed. 

It also doesn’t hurt that there’s more action than horror.  Some of the medieval witch battles feature tinges of Hong Kong-style action (I liked Renner’s fight with a pair of Siamese twin witches) and are fairly bloody to boot.  The way Wirkola peppers in nods to other films is amusing too.  The finale where a coven of witches are mowed down by a Gatling gun was obviously inspired by The Wild Bunch, and the scenes of witches flying through the woods on broomsticks are reminiscent of the Ewok speeder bike chase from Return of the Jedi. 

Renner and Arterton are sort of bland in the leads, but that kind of works in the movie’s favor.  If they were winking at the camera the whole time, the humorous witch-hunting hijinks would’ve felt forced.  Janssen makes for a formidable villain as the sexy witch who says stuff like, “FOOLS!”  The ever-reliable Peter Stormare also puts in a fine turn as the sheriff (and incompetent witch hunter), as does Pihla Viitala as the smoking hot good witch who helps the siblings.