THE ICEMAN (2013) ** ½

The Iceman tells the true story of Richard Kuklinski (Michael Shannon), the notorious hitman known as “The Iceman”.  Kuklinski goes from working as a porno editor to performing hits for the Mob virtually overnight, thanks to his coldblooded demeanor.  Despite his callous brutality, he’s also devoted family man who sees murder as a way to put food on the table and provide for his wife (Winona Ryder).  Naturally, he never tells her what he does for a living, and resorts to leading a double life. 

Usually, when you have a such a coldblooded character at the center of your picture, it’s hard to make him someone the audience can care about. Luckily, Shannon’s poker face is a lot more interesting and expressive than most actors who are acting their heart out.  Sadly, despite Shannon’s cool and calculated performance, the film itself is a bit of a misfire.

Shannon always holds your attention, but the movie itself stops short of drawing you in.  The message of the film is a bit muddled too.  The big takeaway here isn’t so much “crime doesn’t pay” as it is “don’t hide shit from your wife”. 

While The Iceman is absorbing in the early going, it sort of loses its way once Shannon becomes excommunicated from the Mob and takes up with a freelance hitman who works out of an ice cream truck.  This is the kind of role someone like Sam Rockwell or Nicolas Cage could’ve excelled in.  Instead, we get Chris Evans, who is sorely miscast and looks laughable in his bad wig, grungy goatee, and gaudy sunglasses.  He tries way too hard to unsuccessfully shed his Captain America image and winds up coming off more like a lame Saturday Night Live character in the process.  

The good news is the cast is filled top to bottom with some great actors in small parts.  While Ryder is kind of wasted in a thankless role, Stephen Dorff, James Franco, and Robert Davi make memorable impressions in their brief screen time.  Ray Liotta has some excellent scenes too as Shannon’s harried boss.  It’s enough to make you wish he had a bit more to do because whenever he’s onscreen, The Iceman briefly heats up.

TEENAGE JUNGLE (1959) **

A stern-faced District Attorney (Herbert Heyes) calls the parents and guardians of various juvenile delinquents into his office and chastises them for their lack of parental supervision.  We then see flashbacks of a teenage party being raided by the cops where two delinquent car-thieving brothers are arrested.  More flashbacks of other juvenile delinquents, hard-luck gamblers, and assorted underworld types follow.  All these characters are connected in some way to Jim Murray (Wheeler Oakman) a gangster, who after a long prison stretch, now wants to set his wayward son (Johnny Duncan, Robin from the old Batman and Robin serial) on the straight and narrow. 

Teenage Jungle is a cut-and-paste Juvenile Delinquent movie.  The wraparound footage with the D.A. is new, but the long chunks of flashback footage is from Gambling with Souls and Slaves in Bondage.  The effect isn’t exactly convincing to begin with, and the editing only gets worse as it goes along.  (Things get particularly choppy in the last act.)  The cinematography between the three films doesn’t match either, which only adds to the cobbled-together feel. 

Teenage Jungle works up to a point.  The early dance sequences are good for a few laughs.  I mean, nothing says “Juvenile Delinquents” like a pair of twins doing gymnastic dance numbers in someone’s living room.  The Gambling with Souls scenes play out rather well in their condensed form too.  The fact that the running time is less than an hour certainly helps as well. 

The problem is this thing was a half-assed, re-edited attempt at a Juvenile Delinquent movie.  Instead of catering to the genre demands, the narrative is filled with scenes from old “Scare Pictures”.  In lieu of things like hot-rodding teens, bobbysoxers, and malt shops, we get a lot of baloney about the dangers of drinking, gambling, and crime.  In the process, the film falls somewhere in between a scare picture and an honest to goodness Juvenile Delinquent pic, and winds up failing to hit the highlights of either genre. 

The highpoint of the movie is Oakman.  He also appeared in Gambling with Souls and Slaves in Bondage and seeing him turning up in all three sections of Teenage Jungle gives it a bit of consistency.  (Even if he is called by three different names.)  It’s kind of a kick seeing the slightly older and wiser Oakman trying to repent for his past sins in the other films.  In a way, it’s kind of like Boyhood, as you see the character gradually age before your very eyes.  That doesn’t exactly save the flick, but it is pretty neat.

AKA:  Teen Age.

DUSK TO DAWN DRIVE-IN TRASH-O-RAMA SHOW VOL. 3 (1996) *** ½

Something Weird’s nearly two-hour collection of grindhouse and exploitation trailers is a must for genre buffs.  95% of the trailers included are full-length, but I did enjoy the string of thirty-second ads and/or TV spots that were wedged in there too.  It features a good blend of subgenres, some great-looking rarities, and a few undeniable classics.

Among them:  Horror High, Revenge of the Cheerleaders, The Blood Spattered Bride, Don’t Look in the Basement (which rips off the Last House on Left advertising campaign with its famous tagline, “To Avoid Fainting Keep Repeating, It’s Only a Movie!”), The Dorm That Dripped Blood, The Van, Hot Summer Week!, Black Eye, Class of ‘74, The Teasers, Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw, Madhouse, Creatures the World Forgot, Thumb Tripping, Satan’s Cheerleaders, The Female Butcher, Goodbye Emmanuelle, Dr. Tarr’s Torture Dungeon, Deadly China Doll, Caged Heat, The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave, Pussycat Pussycat I Love You, The Yum Yum Girls, Commuter Husbands, Carry on Emmanuelle, Angel Angel Down We Go, Bad Georgia Road, High Wild and Free, Ruby (with its great tagline:  “Christened in blood... raised in sin... she’s sweet sixteen... let the party begin!”), The Legend of the Wolf Woman, Cheerleaders’ Beach Party, Superchick, The Mini-Skirt Mob, Deranged, Summerlust, Blood of the Dragon, The Fountain of Love, The Loners, Shame of the Jungle, Trouble Man, The Savage Seven, Dirty O’Neil the Love Life of a Cop, Angel Unchained, Maid in Sweden, The Swinging Barmaids, Tomcats (“They’re up your skirt before you can flirt!”), The Hard Ride, Super Stooges vs. the Wonder Women, Seven Blows of the Dragon, A Long Ride from Hell, They’re Coming to Get You (AKA:  All the Colors of the Dark), The Three Fantastic Supermen, Sadismo (a crazy looking Mondo movie about sadism around the world, Bogard (AKA:  Black Fist), Black Samson, Black Shampoo, Dr. Black Mr. Hyde (“Don’t give him no sass or he’ll kick your ass!”), Destroy All Monsters, Night of the Lepus, Frogs (“Today the pond!  Tomorrow the world!”), The Last Porno Flick, Scream Blacula Scream, and City on Fire. 

Overall, there are plenty of terrific trailers here.  Caged Heat, Ruby, and Tomcats were among my faves.  Having a heavy concentration on cheerleader movies, biker flicks, and Blaxploitation actioners didn’t hurt either.  At 110 minutes, it’s a little on the long side and kind of stalls out near the home stretch, but of all the trailer compilations I’ve watched recently, this one is my favorite.  

ORLOFF AGAINST THE INVISIBLE MAN (1970) ** ½

Dr. Garondet (Francis Valladares) is summoned to the castle of Dr. Orloff (Howard Vernon) to treat a mysterious patient.  When he arrives, he is given the cold shoulder by all the servants who try to impress upon him his services are not required.  Garondet does some snooping around the castle and eventually learns Orloff has created an Invisible Man who has sinister, lusty urges. 

This was the fifth of seven Dr. Orloff movies and only one of two that weren’t directed by Jess Franco.  In his place, we have Pierre (Panther Squad) Chevalier, and he does a competent enough job.  (He delivers at least one genuinely spinetingling shot of a funeral procession walking past a lake.)  I suspect Franco would’ve ratcheted up the sleaze factor a bit more, but Orloff Against the Invisible Man is a decent enough slice of exploitation hokum.

The set-up is extremely sluggish though.  Valladares’ dull performance doesn’t especially help to perk things up.  However, if you’re patient enough, you’ll be treated to an atmospheric flashback sequence involving a pair of horny grave robbers.  This stretch of the film is a lot of fun, and taken on its own terms, would’ve made a great chapter in an anthology horror movie.  

The Invisible Man effects are surprisingly well done.  There aren’t many of them, and they are all rather brief.  However, there aren’t any visible strings when books and food trays and what-have-yous are floating around in thin air.  The invisible rape scene isn’t a patch on the one found in The Entity, but it does feature a woman writhing naked on a bale of hay while the camera zooms in and out awkwardly to simulate the invisible thrusting, so it has that going for it.

All this seems like your typical invisible rapist movie until the finale when the Invisible Man gets hit with a bag of flour and you can at last see what he really looks like.  I wouldn’t dream of spoiling his appearance, but the big reveal retroactively adds another uneasy layer to the film’s overall sleaziness.  I will spoil the fact that the title is misleading as Orloff doesn’t fight the Invisible Man.  I have to deduct a Half Star from any flick that promises the sight (heh) of Howard Vernon air wrestling an alleged Invisible Man and then doesn’t deliver.   

AKA:  Orloff and the Invisible Man.  AKA:  The Invisible Ghost.  AKA:  Love Life of the Invisible Man.  AKA:  Dr Orloff’s Invisible Monster.

FANTASTIC MOVIE TRAILERS HD 3: THE DOMINATION (2017) *** ½

Montreal Film Studio returns with another installment of trashy trailers of grungy grindhouse favorites (not to mention a few intermission ads thrown in there for good measure).  They loaded this thing from top to bottom with a bevy of different genres.  From slasher to Blaxploitation.  From Kung Fu to biker movie.  Any exploitation fan worth their salt should get a kick out of this collection. 

Among the trailers featured are Curtains, Honky, Deranged, The Lawyer, Kenner, The Raiders of Atlantis, The Tongfather, The Deadly Spawn, Savage!, The Grim Reaper, Eunuch of the Western Palace, Dixie Dynamite, Lola’s Mistake, Doctor Butcher M.D., The Electric Chair, The Last of the Secret Agents?, Eye of the Cat, The Minx, Flesh Gordon, The 44 Specialist, Penitentiary, The Evil, The Pom Pom Girls, The Man from Hong Kong, Who Saw Her Die?, Boss, The Northville Cemetery Massacre, Supermanchu (“Rated R for ‘Righteous!’”), Amazing Grace, The Green Slime, Act of Vengeance, Dead End Drive-In, Mark of the Witch, and Maid in Sweden.  

There’s a nice balance of obscure-o titles sprinkled in with the time-tested perennial classics.  As much as I enjoyed seeing some of my favorite trailers again (particularly Deranged, The Deadly Spawn, and Doctor Butcher M.D.), it was the oddball movies that really got my blood pumping.  I had never seen many of the trailers featured in this compilation.  Heck, there were a lot of movies here I never even heard of.  Because of that, Fantastic Trailers HD 3:  The Domination has a real sense of discovery about it that its predecessors just don’t have.  I’ve added many of the films here to my “Must Watch” list because of this compilation, which is about the highest praise you can bestow on something like this.  I mean how can you not want to see a flick with a title like Eunuch of the Western Palace?  

FANTASTIC MOVIE TRAILERS HD 2: YOUTUBE BOOGALOO (2016) ***

Here’s another fun trailer compilation from the folks at Montreal Film Studio.  It’s not quite as entertaining as the previous installment, if only because I was a lot more familiar with the films featured in this collection and have seen many of these trailers before.  Then again, I watch an awful lot of these things, so that criticism may not mean much to you if you just want to spend 82 minutes in the presence of some classic grindhouse and exploitation trailers.

The trailers this time around include:  Don’t Answer the Phone, Rolling Thunder, Force:  Five, Teenage Mother (which has one of the greatest taglines of all time:  “Teenage Mother means nine months of trouble!” and it remains one of my favorite trailers, even in its edited form), Black Samson, Argoman the Fantastic Superman, Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die, The Dungeonmaster, The Babysitter, Hells Angels on Wheels, Amin:  The Rise and Fall, They Call Her One Eye, Black Samurai, The Devil’s Nightmare, Golden Needles, The Undertaker and His Pals, The Pink Angels, Helga (which features a lot of man-on-the-street interviews and like Teenage Mother, promises to show the birth of a real baby), Dark Star, Deadly Blessing, The Italian Stallion, Welcome Home Brother Charles (AKA:  Soul Vengeance), Stunt Rock, Mr. Billion, the immortal trailer for the double feature of Women and Bloody Terror and Night of Bloody Horror (which offers to pay you $2000 if you die of fright while watching it), The Scaremaker, Van Nuys Blvd., Skatetown USA (a repeat trailer from the first volume), The Mutations, They Came from Beyond Space, Wicked Wicked (filmed in “Duovision”), and H.O.T.S. 

I’ve seen many of the movies showcased in this collection (as well as their trailers), so this compilation lacked a bit in the way of discovery for me.  That said, this is a solid collection of trailers (and intermission ads).  There’s a good amount of variety here (although there are a lot of Crown International titles this time out), and it’s certainly never boring, which means any fan of trailer compilations should enjoy it heartily.   

ROCKETMAN (2019) *** ½

Rocketman is an enjoyable, sometimes exhilarating celebration of the life and music of Elton John.  Even for someone like me, who isn’t a huge John fan, it was easy to get swept up in seeing his life portrayed in such a theatrical, over the top manner.  One could criticize the film for being all broad strokes and containing way too many scenes that are on-the-nose.  Then again, no one ever accused Elton John of being subtle. 

The film follows John’s rags to riches story.  He goes from living with an unloving family to being an overnight sensation with legions of adoring fans.  Troubled by unhappy relationships, and his repressed sexuality, he delves deeper and deeper into drug and alcohol abuse. 

The musical numbers aren’t the studio versions you’ve heard on the radio for the past five decades.  Instead, they are done like a musical, with the numbers woven into the narrative.  Taron Egerton is magnetic as John.  More impressive is the fact that he does his own singing.  He doesn’t try to imitate John.  He allows the emotion of the scene to inform his musical performance, which sometimes leads to wildly different interpretations of the songs, but that’s kind of what I liked about it.  Egerton embodies John so well that you often forget you’re watching an imitator. 

Director Dexter (Eddie the Eagle) Fletcher does a fine job on the musical numbers and offers us some truly surreal moments.  My favorite scene is John’s first performance at The Troubadour when the power of his music literally lifts the audience off the ground.  It’s touches like this that help set the film apart from so many other stale biopics.

There are times when Rocketman feels like the It’s a Small World ride set to Elton John music. Some may gripe about the frantic pacing as the narrative sometimes feels like it's rushing from one milestone to the other.  However, the hectic pace highlights the fact John is often a passenger in his own story as he is perpetually imprisoned by his self-loathing, stifling relationships, and drug use.  I’m sure there were more aspects of John’s later life they could’ve translated onscreen, but the film suitably ends when he is finally able to take control of his own story.  There’s something touching and empowering about that.