Directed by the great John (Grave of the Vampire) Hayes, Help Wanted Female is one of the nuttiest sexploitation films I’ve seen in years. In the fun opening sequence, a seemingly milquetoast woman picks up a guy and balls him. When he catches her trying to pinch his wallet, she karate chops the crap out of him and steals his briefcase.
Another hooker goes on a date with a high roller client who takes LSD. (“You won’t go ape on me, will you daddy?”) He then tells her a flashback how his old girlfriend, desperate for kicks, asked him to cut her. They then decide to up the ante by picking up a young hitchhiker who they invite back to their pad. There, they have her pose for nude photos before stabbing her to death.
To tell anymore would be doing the potential viewer a disservice. Suffice to say, you won’t know where this crazy ass flick is going next. Sure, the narrative is a little on the messy side, but that kind of works in the movie’s favor since you’re never quite sure what it has up its sleeve next. The last twenty minutes are a fever dream of WTF zaniness. Plus, some of the musical choices are about as unhinged as the characters’ actions.
Not only is the cast stacked with immensely appealing ladies, they also have some considerable screen presence. You may be as busy paying attention to them as you are to the increasingly ludicrous plot. Sexy Dianne Michaels takes the acting honors as the kick-happy Barbara whose amoral antics are fun to watch. Inga Olsen is also engaging as the go-go dancing Luana. Joy Khal also makes a memorable impression as the ill-fated hitchhiker. It’s Lucki Winn who will endear herself to you most as the karate-chopping sexpot Jo Jo. Despite the title, these females don’t NEED any help!
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