Thursday, December 7, 2017

THE COMEBACK (1979) * ½


Jack Jones (the guy who sang “The Love Boat” theme) stars as an American musician who moves into an English mansion to work on his first record in six years.  In the mansion late at night he hears crying, then later, screaming.  Soon enough, he’s checking himself in to a mental hospital for exhaustion.  He’s not crazy though because someone wearing an old hag mask has been busy killing off his closest friends and family.  Naturally, they’re saving old Jackie boy for last.

Much of the suspense revolves around whether Jones is crazy or not.  I’d say a third of his time is spent worrying if his latest record's going to be a hit.  With his singing, I think it’s safe to say that it just isn’t in the cards.  Unless Lawrence Welk is hiring, I don't think his he’ll make his titular comeback. 

Director Pete Walker has a knack for taking a thin premise and stretching it to the breaking point.  With The Comeback, he takes something that wouldn’t have even cut it on an hour-long Hammer House of Horror and milks it for an ungodly one-hundred minutes.  I’ll say this for him:  He kicks things off with a rather gory murder sequence right at the beginning.  The problem is you’ve got to wait another hour for anything comparable to happen. 

Jones might be famous for singing “The Love Boat”, but a leading man he is not.  He just doesn’t have the charisma necessary to carry an entire movie.  Heck, Christopher Lee would have a hard time carrying this dog.

The supporting cast is pretty good though.  David (Bosley from Charlie’s Angels) Doyle does a fine job as Jones’ harried manager.  Superman 3’s Pamela Stephenson is quite fetching as Jones’ secretary/love interest.  It was also nice seeing Sheila Keith from Walker’s Frightmare turning up as the crotchety housekeeper.  Ultimately, none of them can save the movie, but they certainly give it their best shot.

AKA:  Hallucinations.  AKA:  Encore.  AKA:  The Day the Screaming Stopped.

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