PETER RABBIT (2018) **

Paddington 2 was a wonderful movie that featured a talking animal that was made for children, but could be enjoyed by people of all ages because it didn’t cater to the lowest common denominator.  It was a sweet film based on a children’s book that remembered what made the character so special and kept the spirit its author intended.  Peter Rabbit, on the other hand, does none of that.

Would it surprise you that Peter Rabbit has an obnoxious comic montage set to a terrible pop song at nearly every reel change?  Or that Peter’s nemesis, Mr. McGregor (Domhnall Gleeson) gets pelted in the balls with vegetables several times throughout the film?  Paddington 2 took its inspiration from Charlie Chaplin.  This one takes its cues from the Home Alone series.  That alone is the sure sign you’re in trouble.

As a fan of Beatrix Potter’s stories, I did love the flashbacks that were traditionally animated in the style of the old books.  These sequences are sweet and tender.  Why couldn’t the whole movie be like that?  I guess there’s more money in CGI rabbits nailing General Hux in the gonads with radishes than actually staying true to the spirit of the books.

I’m pretty sure Potter is rolling in her grave right about now.  Her corpse undoubtedly started spinning during the scene in which her beloved character tried to sodomize Sam Neill with a carrot.   Though in all fairness, it was kind of funny to see General Hux perform The People’s Elbow on a bunny.

Speaking of which, Gleeson shows promise as a physical comedian.  Even if the gags get repetitive, the way he gleefully throws himself into his pratfalls is admirable.  I’m pretty sure he was jealous that his dad, Brendan was in Paddington 2 and he got stuck making this crap.

One thing I can say for this version of Peter Rabbit:  At least it doesn’t have a theme song as awful as the one from that recent Nickelodeon show.