FOUR DIMENSIONS OF GRETA (1973) ** ½

Pete (Frightmare) Walker already had a couple of softcore sex comedies under his belt before he made this, the first British 3-D movie.  A journalist named Hans (Tristan Rogers) is looking for a German au pair named Greta (Leena Skoog) on the streets of London.  He interviews four people, all of whom relate flashbacks of their encounters with Greta.  Each flashback is shown in 3-D (don’t worry, there’s a trippy red and blue visual cue so you know when to put on your glasses), contain lots of nudity, and are easily the best parts.  

In the first flashback, a former roommate reveals how Greta forced her to work like Cinderella while she participated in orgies.  In the second, Greta performs a sexy dance number behind a fluttering air curtain.  The third has her playing house with a soccer player (Robin Askwith).  They drink wine, she feeds him fruit, and then they hop in bed.  The final flashback finds Greta getting it on in a massage parlor with her boss.

Here’s a rundown on the 3-D effects:

·         3-D Bra
·         3-D Panties
·         3-D Feet
·         3-D Cigarette Holder
·         3-D Cigarette Holder (again)
·         3-D Feet (again)
·         3-D Punching Bag
·         3-D Wine Glasses (multiple)
·         3-D Grapes (multiple)
·         3-D Bananas (multiple)
·         3-D Robin Askwith
·         3-D Leena Skoog
·         3-D Whiskey Glass
·         3-D Broken Bottle
·         3-D Robin Askwith (again)

The effects themselves are a bit of a mixed bag.  The best effects are the ones where things come out of the foreground.  The effect of Greta riding back and forth on a swing really pops and the scene where she slowly comes forward blowing kisses at the audience is a showstopper.  The rest of the 3-D, especially the depth-of-field stuff, looks blurry and/or flat, but Walker does more with the gimmick than most directors.

Let’s make no mistake here, this is a gimmick movie.  Without the 3-D, Four Dimensions of Greta would’ve been completely forgettable.  The 3-D is just good enough to make it worthwhile.  It’s not as funny and fun as something like The Stewardesses, but it’s not bad, all things considered.

For a sex comedy, it’s not exactly funny, but there are a few chuckles to be had, most revolving around Robin Askwith.  (“Being with her was like getting a ball down the center!”)  As Greta, Skoog is a real find.  Admittedly, she’s not much of an actress.  She is incredibly sexy though and perks up the movie whenever she’s on screen.

It all kind of falls apart after the last 3-D sequence as the final act runs on a bit too long.  Still, there’s enough nudity to go around to keep you from getting bored.  As far as Pete Walker movies go, it’s probably the best one I’ve seen.

Walker’s next picture, The Flesh and Blood Show, also utilized the 3-D gimmick, but not nearly as well.

Rogers gets the best line of the movie when he says, “This is just like a cheap British sex movie!”

AKA:  Three Dimensions of Greta.