NO MORE DIRTY DEALS (1993) * ½

Taimak (Bruce Leroy from The Last Dragon) hires a mechanic (the hilariously named Von Von Lindenberg) to soup up his motorboat.  (“I’ll make your boat go so fast, you’ll be whistling out your ass!”)  Von Von is jealous that Taimak lives in a mansion and has plenty of sunbathing women in bikinis at his disposal.  Von Von quickly gets so swept up in Taimak’s world of excess (which includes a romp with a stripper named Tequila) that he fails to realize he’s in fact a ruthless criminal.

No More Dirty Deals is one of those movies where an average Joe gets lured by money and beautiful women into a life of crime.  This sort of thing could’ve worked had Taimak’s world of luxury actually seemed intriguing.  Unless you have an unnatural affinity for speedboats, it’s hardly what I’d call tempting.  The sunbathing bikini babes and strippers aren’t THAT hot either.  David Jean Schweitzer’s direction is amateurish at best and there isn’t enough violence and T & A here to make up for the shoddy craftsmanship.  The action is sparse, and the finale is pretty weak too.

That said, there aren’t that many Taimak vehicles out there, so you’ve got to take what you can get.

Taimak isn’t bad in the scenes where he’s living up the glamorous life in his swanky mansion.  However, he just isn’t very convincing when he makes the switch over to maniacal crime lord in the second half of the picture.  (There are some moments where he seems to be channeling Rockwell in the “Somebody’s Watching Me” music video.)  Luckily, Von Von gives a decent performance as the poor dope who gets in way over his head.

You can sense the Miami Vice influence here.  There are a LOT of scenes of rich guys driving speedboats while rock music blares on the soundtrack.  If you can struggle past them, you might enjoy it.  

Speaking of music, the songs were provided by a band called “Stranger” and they aren’t bad.  (They sound like a bluesy version of AC/DC.)  I’m sure with a better movie behind them, they could’ve gone places.  Stranger (and Taimak) deserves better.