JEEPERS CREEPERS 3 (2017) ½ *

I wanted to check out Jeepers Creepers 3 last fall when it played in theaters for one day as a part of a Fathom special event.  I never got around to it and had to settle for catching it on Netflix instead.  Now that I’ve seen it, I can honestly say that keeping it in a theater for one day was one day too many.  This is by far,the worst horror sequel I’ve subjected myself to in some time.

The Creeper (Jonathan Breck) is back, and this time, the townspeople are ready for him.  With the help of a severed hand that produces psychic visions (don’t ask), The Sheriff (Stan Shaw) and an old granny (Meg Foster) set out to take him down once and for all.  Meanwhile, Meg’s granddaughter (Gabrielle Haugh) has been kidnapped by The Creeper and locked away in his rusted-out, gadget-laden car.  

We don’t see a whole lot of The Creeper in this one, which is odd.  I mean none of the Jeepers Creepers movies are any good, but Breck at least cuts an imposing silhouette as the main monster.  Instead, director Victor Salva wastes a lot of screen time on The Creeper’s booby-trapped car.  I don’t know why they did this, but I’d rather see a crummy monster attack than a scene of people accidentally getting killed by an old rust bucket car any day.

Jeepers Creepers 3 is loaded with awful special effects, maybe explains why they didn’t want to spend a lot of time with The Creeper.  Bad CGI effects are to be expected in something like this, but the practical ones are surprisingly shoddy.  Take for instance the scene where The Creeper’s severed hand comes to life and grabs the townsfolk.  The hand looks like something out of an eight-year-old’s magic show.  There’s also an effect involving an eyeball popping out of its socket that is so phony that all I could do was sing, “Jeepers… Creepers… where’d you get THAT peeper?  K-Mart?I?”

I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life, but I’m starting to think indiscriminately watching any horror movie with the numeral 3 is slowly becoming one of them.

Meg Foster and Stan Shaw deserve better than this mess.  All Foster gets to do is dig around in her backyard a lot and look spaced out like she’s in the midst of an Oxy high.  As the Sheriff, Shaw basically just barks orders out at his deputies without really ever doing much else.  He’s a job title in search of a character.

The only touch I like was the fact that this time The Creeper is equipped with a weapon that resembles the Glaive from Krull.  Fans of the series (if such a thing exists) will enjoy seeing how this one connects to the last entry.  Other than that, there’s not much here to recommend.

AKA:  Jeepers Creepers:  Ravenous.

If you’re hankering for more reviews of horror sequels (including my thoughts on Jeepers Creepers 2), you should check out my latest book, The Bloody Book of Horror, available now from Amazon.  You can order a copy here:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542566622/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520113366&sr=8-1&keywords=mitch+lovell

If you’re tech savvy, you can get the e-book version on Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B6TBVG1/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1520120839&sr=8-2&keywords=mitch+lovell