Kevin
Bacon and Radha Mitchell are a couple who go hiking in the desert with their
special-needs son in tow. He wanders off
and winds up falling in a hole where he befriends a Native American spirit
named “Jenny”. Jenny follows the family
home and it isn’t long before she’s leaving dirty handprints everywhere. It soon becomes apparent she has sinister plans
for the family.
Usually, Bacon has a good track record for this sort of thing. I mean take a look at Friday the 13th, Stir of Echoes, or heck, even Hollow Man. He equips himself well enough here, and Mitchell once again proves to be one of the more underrated actresses around.
Unfortunately,
if I had known ahead of time this was a Greg McLean movie, I wouldn’t even have
bothered. It’s another one of those Wolf
Creek deals where you have to wait forever for something to happen. When it finally does, it’s nothing more than water
spickets running by themselves. Or
handprints appearing from out of nowhere. Or strange noises coming out of the walls. You know, nothing remotely scary whatsoever.
In
fact, the whole thing doesn’t rate above a Lifetime movie. It’s full of ominous portents and stinging
music cues, but no real scares or atmosphere. Although the leads do what they can (I did
like seeing Paul Reiser popping up as Bacon’s asshole boss), they are unable to
salvage this dreary, listless excursion through all-too familiar territory. Ultimately, it’s nothing more than an amalgam
of haunted house movies and creepy kid flicks.
The shitty CGI and gratuitous Native American mumbo jumbo don’t do it
any favors either.
Wait
till you get a load of the crappy ending that shamelessly rips off Poltergeist. Not only does a little old lady try to
cleanse the house of evil spirits, there’s even a scene where the father crosses
over to the other side to find his child.
The finale is laughable, and the piss-poor effects almost feel
unfinished.
In
short, The Darkness should’ve never seen the light of day.
AKA: 6 Miranda Drive.
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