STIFF COMPETITION (1984) ***

You know all those movies about the underground kickboxing circuit?  The ones where people gather in a dingy garage or basement and bet on who will be left standing in a mano y mano Kung Fu battle?  The kind where a young fighter gets plucked out of obscurity and works their way to a fight inside the ring for a big money prize?

Well, Stiff Competition is the first underground cocksucking tournament movie.  Instead of two guys fighting, it’s a guy standing there while a women races against the clock to see how fast she can make the dude cum.  In fact, it predates many of those kickboxing films I was talking about, which in a way makes it a trailblazer for not only one genre, but two.

When a cocksucker quits in the middle of an underground “suck-off”, a young newcomer named Tammy the Tongue (Gina Carrera) takes her place.  Jeff (Kevin James) sees she has real talent and coaches her to be the best dick-licker on the circuit.  She quickly works her way up the ranks of the cocksucker elite, which spells doom for the former pro Cynthia Silkthroat (Cyndee Summers) and her attempted bid at a comeback.  Eventually, they settle their differences in the ring at the “Super Bowl of Suck-Offs” for a $50,000 cash prize.  

Stiff Competition has fun playing up the usual sports movie clichés, which is where a majority of the amusement comes from.  It takes a lot of its cues from the Rocky series (there’s a dick-sucking montage instead of a training montage) and the final match is rife with drama.  It’s also kind of like The Hustler in that the hero’s mentor takes them out on the road in preparation for the big match.  

If you’re mostly concerned with the XXX action, you may be dismayed by the heavy concentration of oral scenes.  (Unless that’s your thing.)  Director Paul (Bodacious Ta-Ta’s) Vatelli, perhaps sensing his overreliance on oral, mixes things up by sticking a great anal scene with Bridgette Monet smack dab in the middle of the flick.  

Carrera is kind of forgettable in the lead, but the supporting cast is amusing.  We have Ron Jeremy who plays “Don Head”, the promoter of the big Suck-Off, delivering another sleazy performance.  John Leslie brings his typical intensity to the role of Summers’ slimy manager, Jake the Snake.  It’s also fun seeing Kitten Natividad turning up for a nice little lesbian scene with Carrera.   

A sequel followed ten years later.