Wednesday, May 1, 2019

WEDDING SLASHERS (2006) ** ½


Jenna (Jessica Kinney) watches in horror as her boyfriend is chainsawed up by a psycho in a gas mask.  She eventually moves on and five years later gets engaged to her boyfriend Alex (Ross Kelly).  On their wedding day, her long-lost killer “family” show up at the church to hunt her down and murder the wedding guests.  It’s then up to Alex to protect his bride to-be from her insane incestual clan.

Most low budget filmmakers come up with a great title and forget to make a movie that lives up to it.  I can’t quite say director Carlos Smith accomplishes that with Wedding Slashers but be thankful it’s as good as it is.  Overall, it rates just above your average Troma flick in terms of acting and gore.  It also earns points for getting the show on the road in an expedient manner.  It kind of spin its wheels a bit too much in the third act, but the abundance of gore keeps you watching.

I’ve always been of the mind that if you don’t have the budget to spring for good cameras or decent lightning equipment, at least put the money towards the special effects.  The makers of Wedding Slashers share my sentiment.  There’s a ton of bloody kills in this thing, including a pretty cool decapitated head gag, a gnarly hacked-up face, chopped-off fingers, eyeball plucking, gut ripping, a knife to the head, and so much more.  The killers each have their own bizarre mask and get-up, which looks cool, although none of them really develop much of a personality.  

Iconic Skinamax Siren Maria Ford has a small part as a doomed bride to-be.  Too bad she doesn’t get naked.  Heck, she doesn’t even last past the opening scene.  Genre favorite Richard (Invasion U.S.A.) Lynch also shows up briefly as Kinney’s lecherous “Daddy”.  If only they were utilized more because the amateurish cast can’t quite carry the picture all the way through to the finish line.  Still, there’s enough plucky spirit and gallons of gore to make you want to R.S.V.P.

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