VICTORIA’S SHADOW (2001) * ½

In the black and white prologue, Victoria (Brinke Stevens) is bitten by a one-eyed vampire (Joe Schofield) in a graveyard.  A century and change later, Victoria’s ancestor, Max (Bill Rodd) finds a diary detailing her demise.  It also tells where the family jewels are squirreled away. Thinking he can use the loot to pay off a loan shark, Max proceeds into the tomb with his goofball buddy Carl (Matt Oppy).  There, they find Victoria’s preserved body with a jewel-encrusted stake stuck through her heart.  Naturally, the idiots remove the stake, and she goes around sucking people’s blood.

Directed by Grant Austin Waldman (who also directed the much better Teenage Exorcist starring Brinke), Victoria’s Shadow is often a chore to sit through.  You know you’re in trouble during the sluggish prologue.  Afterwards, we’re treated to an even slower exposition scene that basically recaps everything we just saw moments ago.  It’s totally uneconomical.  Waldman should’ve cut one of these scenes.  Having both just needlessly clutters the narrative early on. 

The acting is painfully amateurish.  The scenes of the hapless grave robbers standing around and talking about family curses, fencing jewelry, and busting each other’s balls is downright painful.  The performances by Rodd and Oppy will grate on your nerves something fierce.  They have no screen presence whatsoever and are impossible to take seriously with their loopy line deliveries. 

Some parts are too dark, while others make good use of colorful lighting.  The shots utilizing pink and green lights in the background look pretty cool, even if they kind of overdo it with the fog machine sometimes.  The gore is OK, but the ending is rushed and anticlimactic.  

Brinke is the only selling point.  Her best scenes come when she’s walking around in a see-through nightgown searching for victims.  I don’t know if Victoria’s Shadow shopped at Victoria’s Secret, but Brinke sure was looking good.  

AKA:  Bitten:  Victoria’s Shadow.