GODZILLA ON MONSTER ISLAND (1972) ***

From the opening shots of comic book panels, you immediately know Godzilla on Monster Island is going to be a colorful, eye-popping, silly romp.  It’s loaded with cool monsters, great scenes of mass destruction, and of course, fun monster mashing mayhem.  Not only that, but the plot is even worth following for a change.

An out of work comic book artist gets a job at the “Children’s Land” amusement park drawing monsters for their latest attraction.  When he notices a woman running from security, he investigates and learns the park’s creators are keeping her brother hostage.  She’s also in possession of a tape the teenage CEO of the park wants back, and when she plays it for our hero, it sends a homing message to King Ghidrah and Gigan to come to Japan and start wreaking havoc.  It’s then up to Godzilla and his buddy Anguirus (who are living like The Odd Couple out on Monster Island) to stop them.  

There’s a lot to like here aside from the monster mashing.  The amusement park set-up is a lot of fun.  Their main attraction is an observation tower in the shape of Godzilla.  It’s life-size, and people can go all the way to the top and find out what it’s like to see things from Godzilla’s perspective.  (I wish they had one of these at Universal Studios!)  I also liked the fact that the human villains were giant alien cockroaches in disguise.  (Franz Kafka eat your heart out!)

The human characters are also memorable this time out, something that can rarely be said for a Godzilla picture.  The comic book artist hero is plucky and likeable, but the thing I liked best about him was that he’s kind of a wimp, and his badass girlfriend (who is a black belt in karate) always has to bail him out of trouble.  There’s also a hippie sidekick who is obsessed with eating phallic shaped food who’d fit right in in a John Waters movie.  

Of course, it’s those monster mashing sequences that makes Godzilla on Monster Island such a blast.  Gigan makes for a rather badass adversary.  Sporting a four-pronged beak, blades for arms, and a glowing cycloptic eye, he causes destruction with his gnarly buzz-saw belly, a weapon that is as puzzling as it is awesome.  Ghidrah looks like he’s suffering from a stiff neck(s) (the puppeteering isn’t what it once was), but the scenes where he and Gigan fly around like Maverick and Iceman in Top Gun are appropriately kick-ass.

The fight scenes are chockful of all the Saturday Night Wrestling moves you know and love, but what makes the kaiju brawls so intense is that for the first time ever, the monsters bleed when they’re hit.  In fact, Godzilla bleeds in this one just about as much as Rocky does in any given Rocky sequel.  There’s a particularly great shot where Anguirus tries to perform a Bill Goldberg spear into Gigan, winds up going headfirst into his buzz-saw belly, and his blood splatters all over the screen!

Oh, and I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.  Once Godzilla finds out something’s gone wrong in the park, he tells Anguirus to go check it out.  Yes, you read that right.  THE MONSTERS TALK IN THIS ONE!  What makes it even better is the fact that they kind of growl and moan, but the translations appear onscreen as little thought bubbles.  You see, it’s that whole comic book inspiration again.  It just goes to show that more kaiju movies should take a… ahem… page from them.

AKA:  Godzilla vs. Gigan.  AKA:  Extermination:  2025.  AKA:  Earth Destruction Directive:  Godzilla vs. Gigan.  AKA:  Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah:  Earth Destruction Directive.  AKA:  War of the Monsters.  AKA:  Earth Assault Order:  Godzilla vs. Gigan.