THE NIGHTINGALE (2019) ****

Most people would be overjoyed to quarantine themselves away for weeks at a time and do nothing but watch movies 24/7.  I mean, Hell, I pretty much do that anyway.  “Social Distancing”?  I’ve been socially distant long before it became chic.  

Well, it just so happens that the one month the government tells everyone to stay indoors and don’t do diddly is the month that life decides to kick me in the nuts.  I won’t go into detail or anything.  Just know that my month has played out like a Lifetime Movie, and not one of the good ones involving demented oversexed au pairs.  No, this one involves the threat of perpetual unemployment, the death of a family member, a loved one having a cancer scare, and getting rear-ended in traffic on the way to the hospital.  It’s been one of those months.  That’s not to mention all the COVID-19 shit going on in the world.  Because of that, these already stressful events are magnified, making going out to accomplish the simplest of tasks even more difficult.  Thankfully, my family’s been spared from the Coronavirus (so far), but I have to tell you dear readers, I don’t know how much more I can take.  

What I’m saying is that after a month like that, I needed a pick-me-up.  I needed to give myself over to the healing power of cinema and watch a movie that would brighten my mood.  That would uplift my spirits.  That would reaffirm my place with the human race.

Unfortunately, I watched The Nightingale.  

I’m not saying this is a bad film.  Far from it.  It’s just I didn’t realize I was getting myself into.  You know the term “Feel Good Movies”?  This is probably the best “Feel Bad Movie” of the decade.  

It’s all about Clare (Aisling Franciosi), an Irish woman, who along with her husband (Michael Sheasby) work as slaves to an arrogant British officer named Hawkins (Sam Claflin).  When he’s denied a promotion, he takes out his frustrations by killing Clare’s husband and newborn baby, all the while he and his men take turns raping her.  They then go off to an Army post and she follows in hot pursuit, accompanied by an Aborigine guide named Billy (Baykali Ganambarr) who’s just as prejudiced against her as she is of him.  Eventually, a mutual respect grows between them and together, they hunt down the men who shattered her world.  

So, basically what we got here is I Spit on Your Walkabout.  

Like I said, this was a tough sit.  In fact, it took me a couple days to get all the way through.  It’s brutal, uncompromising, and a real punch to the gut.  I give director Jennifer Kent, already a legend for directing The Babadook, a lot of credit for making this movie.  After that film became a cult phenomenon, I’m sure she could’ve taken the brass ring and directed a Marvel flick or some other Hollywood bullshit.  Instead, she made a difficult, unsettling, horror/western hybrid that features a lot of subtitles, thick accents, period costumes, and an unflinching eye for gruesome detail.  

This is unquestionably a masterpiece.  I just wish I saw it under better circumstances.  (Rape, racism, and infant murder isn’t the sort of thing to lift one’s spirits.) No matter how repulsive the subject matter got, and no matter how shitty my week has been, I still stuck with it to the bitter end.  (I had to divvy it up over a couple nights though because it eventually became too much for me.)  Kent’s style is masterful and with this film she proves that she is one of the best directors of the century.  Not only that, but she’s the rare filmmaker that makes nightmare sequences truly nightmarish.  Most directors just toss them into the mix to pad the running time.  Kent’s nightmare scenes help reinforce the main character’s fragile mental state to the audience.  Not only that, but they make you feel like you’re experiencing a dream in real time.  The effect packs a real punch.

I guess on one hand you could say that my problems were small potatoes compared to Clare’s.  That didn’t cheer me up though.  I did admire her resilience in the face of adversity.  Still, even when she and Billy give the bad guys their eventual comeuppance, it isn’t pretty, let alone satisfying.  One guy suffers one of the slowest, most antagonizing deaths I’ve seen in some time.  When he finally kicks the bucket, you let loose a sigh of relief instead of a rousing fist pump.  The other deaths are quicker, though just about as messy.  

It took me a scene or two to recognize Hawkins’ second-in-command as Damon Herriman.  You may remember him as Dewey on Justified or as Charles Manson in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.  He takes playing a creep to all new levels in this one.

I’m sorry it took me so long to see The Nightingale.  If I saw it earlier, it definitely would’ve made the Top Five of the Year list.  I’m also sorry about dragging my personal life into the review, but I had to vent.  Hopefully, April is a tad kinder to me than March.  

Stay safe.  Stay indoors.  Stay healthy, people.